After Rape
by Maxine101
Summary: Conrart was kidnapped by Big Cimeron and tortured, so Yozak rescued him and brought him back home. Then he had to help Conrart heal from the torture he endured. Warning: rape and torture references, yaoi, and depressing storyline.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

Yozak gently brushed the hair out of Conrart's eyes as he carried his friend through the sewer system in Big Cimeron. He'd had to sneak into the castle's prison, where they had been holding Conrart for nearly a month. Despite Yozak's desire to simply barge into the prison and bust his friend out, he had taken his time to do the necessary research and prepare a plan, not to mention he had been delayed from the beginning when his ship had been waylaid due to a bad wind.

Now he wished he had not taken his time. His friend, who had always been thin due to the hours he devoted to training and exercise, had become emaciated. His face, on the other hand, was puffy from beatings, and a slight discoloration in large areas around his torso could have been either bruises or dirt in the dim light. A knife had been run over his skin and sliced delicate designs and patterns over every inch of Conrart's body. Conrart had been dangling from the ceiling of his dank cell by his wrists – passed out and completely nude – to show off the carvings in his skin. But what terrified Yozak the most was the blood running down Conrart's legs from his rectum.

He'd pulled Conrart down and picked the lock on his chains. Then he'd dressed his friend in a spare set of clothes he'd brought along to disguise his friend. After checking to make sure the coast was still clear he hauled the hurt man to his feet and pulled one arm over his shoulders, supporting most of his light weight on his hips. Then, after closing the cell door behind him, he started walking toward a side exit most commonly used by soldiers on duty.

As they'd reached a busy corridor Yozak started grinning at the men who looked at him as he passed carrying his precious cargo. At one point he was stopped by a man in a higher ranked uniform than either his or Conrart's, so he stood at attention as best he could, looking the part of a good soldier of Big Cimeron.

"What is wrong with that man, corporal?" the sergeant barked.

"He's sick," Yozak said in the appropriate subordinate tone, his eyes staring at the wall above the superior officer's head. "He received a letter from his girl today. She's marrying a man in her home town instead of waiting for him, so he drowned his sorrows."

The sergeant looked at Conrart's limp form and then back to Yozak. Then he seemed to shrug and wave them off. "I want to see him in my office first thing in the morning. No point doling out punishment if he isn't awake to appreciate it."

Yozak let out an invisible sigh of relief before offering a salute to the man and hurrying off. Before he reached the exit nearest the barracks, he turned into a room at the end of a small corridor and locked the door behind him. Then he set Conrart down on a pile of spare linins and got to work moving the floor grate out of the way. He then grabbed up his best friend and slowly made his way down into the sewer system below the prison, being careful to pull the grate back into place once he'd passed.

That had been several hours past, if his sense of time was anything to go by. Conrart hadn't woken up once, but Yozak wouldn't have, either, had he been in that much pain. Judging by the way some of Conrart's ribs and bones shifted around when he was moved they were broken, and having his lacerated skin brushed and pulled against the rough fabric of the uniform he had been stuffed into had to be agony as well. Yozak checked frequently to make sure no new blood soaked into the uniform, but the lighting in the sewer was poor, and the torch he had lit upon entering had burned out a while ago. Now he was making his way in part by the small beams of sun that shone through the grates to the road above, but mostly by feel.

He reached what he thought was the right exit and set Conrart down on the ground so he could climb the ladder up to the street. He popped his head up out of the street to see that he had, in fact, arrived at the sewer exit he wanted. By the time he managed to pull his Captain up to the street they were in an alley by the city gates on the opposite side of town from the prison.

Yozak walked Conrart into a nearby doorway and laid him down on a bed made up of rough linens partially hidden behind a cloth partition. He popped out of the room to a door located on the opposite side of the stairway in search of the shop's owner.

The small room was made from dark red brick with dark wooden doors and small windows, creating a generally gloomy atmosphere. One door led out the front to the street, one led to the privy, and one led out to the alley that Yozak and Conrart had entered from. The windows were covered with ratty curtains that once probably had a cheery pattern, but had since been bleached by the sun and covered by dirt and allowed in very little light, hence the overall dreary atmosphere.

The true beauty of the room, however, came from the partitions placed strategically around the large main chamber to create little private areas for the beds. The partitions were soft cloth, each with a different pattern of butterflies or flowers. Six of them were placed around the room in disorderly rows, leaving just enough room for the desk to the side of the main entrance.

Of course, that was just the downstairs. Yozak had never been allowed upstairs, because that was where the owner and her family of healers lived.

When a middle aged woman came bustling down the steep set of stairs – without Yozak since he was still in the privy taking a leak – she sighed at the feet she saw dangling off the edge of the bed and made her way over. She pulled a chair from behind a neighboring partition, and set about undressing the brunette before her. Yozak entered the room from the behind her and started up the stairs before he noticed the lady bent over his friend. Quietly, he walked up behind her and studied his friend from over her shoulder, for the first time taking in the damage his friend had been dealt before he could be saved.

The cuts in Conrart's skin had already scabbed over, and in some areas the scabs had flaked off to reveal fresh new skin. They covered him from the base of his neck down to his fingertips and the bottoms of his feet. Yozak winced as the woman gently moved her fingers over the lines covering Conrart's body, tracing the path the knife had probably taken to create the geometric pattern. Even his penis and testacies hadn't been spared, although there were only a few lines in those areas.

Then she laid her hands firmly over his ribs and gently pressed on the bruises, checking underneath them for broken bones. Her lips tightened, but otherwise didn't react, causing Yozak to relax: the damage she felt wasn't dangerously serious. But then she moved Conrart's legs open and lifted his knees, leaving his most private areas revealed for her to see. She gently pulled his cheeks apart and took a good look at his anus, even going so far as to open his hole with two fingers. Yozak moved the lantern so she could effectively see inside but couldn't bring himself to look with her.

Once she'd gotten a good look she removed her fingers and scooted away from the bed, turning to look Yozak in the eye. "You will want to sit down for this," she warned, and Yozak sat at the foot of Conrart's bed with his hand on his friend's leg.

"He has five broken ribs and two dislocated shoulders," she began none too gently. "The cuts are partly healed and were obviously disinfected before you dragged him through the sewers, but the damage is extensive enough that he will be scarred…" She paused, giving Yozak an appraising look before she said, "…and he was raped."

Yozak bit his lip as he rubbed his friend's leg in a motion he'd used for decades to comfort him when he was sick or injured. Now, since he was asleep, Yozak was the one to feel comfort from the motion. "How long until I can move him home?" he asked in a wavering voice. He swallowed his fear down, but his lips still trembled with intense emotion.

Her expression gentled, but she didn't move to touch the redhead sitting before her as he bravely contained his anguish. "I have a cart," she said in a soft voice, "so I can bring you to your boat today and do what I can for him on the trip over if you drive. I'll give him a sedative to keep him asleep for the ride, but he will wake up on the boat. Let's hope your Great One grants you fair sailing for your trip home."

"Yes, if the Great One will grant it," Yozak hoped weakly. Then he stood and helped the human healer collect the items she needed for the ride to the port.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

Conrart dreamed that Yozak had saved him. Of course, it really couldn't have happened that way, but he'd believed it as he slept anyway. He saw his friend's concerned face as he lowered him from his prison cell's ceiling. The broken bones of his ribs shifted as he was stuffed into stiff clothing. His body was picked up and placed down several times, and the space around him went from dark to bright and back to dark several times. He even had the pleasure of hearing Yozak call him drunk, even though he hadn't had more than a glass of wine since he'd gotten over the losses at the Battle of Leutenburg.

But now that he was awake he realized that none of that was possible, but he found that he didn't want to break the dream's illusion. With his eyes closed he even felt the rocking of a ship, as if his friend had really taken him away from that horrid place. He could almost feel his ribs bound tightly to prevent them from shifting and warm soft linens covering his cold form. If he hadn't known any better, he would have believed it was really Yozak holding his hand as he slept on a healer's bed.

Then he heard the words his friend was saying, and they shocked him enough to force his eyes open and dispel the illusion.

"Now, you fucking bastard, you had better open your mother fucking eyes and look at me, or I'm telling your lady mother that you wouldn't eat your peas and she'll kill you so fast the Great One won't have time to see your soul before it passes into that Hell place that Yuri told us about that one time, and…"

Conrart groaned. Was he hallucinating now? He probably wasn't since Yozak had stopped his rant mid-sentence and was giving him a tear-filled smile as he bent down and… what was he doing? Oh, shit, he was going to kiss him! What the fuck? Why was he going to… now where was he going? Yozak was drifting to the left, totally missing his mouth. Oh. He kissed his cheek. Well, that was all right then. The last thing he needed right then was to deal with his intimacy issues concerning his best friend.

"You kissed me," was what he managed to force past his lips, although he didn't know why it was such a big deal. Clearly Yozak was happy he'd woken up.

"Yeah, you big lug," Yozak said with a thick voice. "We've been sailing back home for two days, and the healer I know in Big Cimeron's prison city said that the sedatives and pain relievers she forced into you would be worn off by now."

"So, we _are_ on a ship," Conrart said. Yozak nodded, too choked up to speak. "And you really did tell someone I was drunk."

Yozak wiped the tears from his cheeks and gave a weak chuckle. "So you remember that, huh?"

"I wasn't drunk," he said for no other reason than that he couldn't think of anything else to say. "You should have told them that you were drunk and I was carrying you home."

Yozak gave Conrart a long look and asked, "How much pain are you feeling?"

"I'm actually feeling pretty good," Conrart said with a small smile. "I'll bet the pain medication works differently on demons."

Yozak went over to the pack resting on the chair nearby and started rifling through it. He pulled out a packet of what Conrart assumed was medicinal powder and looked at the name, cursing when he recognized it. "No wonder you're so out of it," he said to Conrart. "You probably won't feel anything until we get home, and I won't even have to feed you any more of this shit for the rest of the trip!"

Conrart started to shift himself into a sitting position since keeping tabs on Yozak's active form was difficult at best when he was horizontal. But, before he could maneuver himself into any form of vertical-esque position – his arms weren't moving properly – Yozak was there beside him pushing him back down. "Captain, you've officially got broken ribs," he said in a mildly irritated voice. "You lie down, or I'm telling your lady mother that you won't eat your peas!"

"Why do you always threaten me with my mother when you want me to do something?" Conrart demanded as he allowed Yozak to settle him back on the bed. He noticed how Yozak kept himself busy by straightening the sheets and folding the heavy blankets that were too warm for the comfortable temperature.

"Captain, do you even remember how scary your lady mother was when you didn't eat your peas? I figured it was a decent threat. But now that I see you are suffering brain damage and can't remember a vast majority of your childhood, I'll stop with the threats and just let you know that if you don't listen to me I'll sic your mother on you so fast you won't know what hit you!"

Conrart groaned and rubbed his eyes with his hands. "She'll probably do that, anyway, seeing how I was kidnapped."

Yozak stopped his busy work and looked down at his best friend. "Captain, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," the brunette said, lowering his hands back down to the bed. "I'm pretty dopey, but fine."

The look Yozak shot him made him freeze. It was almost as if Yozak was trying to figure out why two things didn't quite fit together the way they should – a look he'd had on his face often back when they were children and trying to build their tree house or put together Wolfram's first wooden sword. He'd never seen that look crinkle his friend's nose concerning _him_, though.

"Captain, do you remember what happened to you?" Yozak asked. His tone was light and careful, but his eyes glittered with an emotion Conrart couldn't identify. Was it fear? Worry? Something else?

"I woke up in my room during the night," Conrart said slowly. "There were men holding my arms and legs, and a cloth was shoved into my mouth and tied there. Then they bound my arms and legs, and then they shoved me into a large potato sack. I'm pretty sure they carried me out through the servants' entrance and took me out of the city by morning. It took half a week to get to Big Cimeron, and King Bastard held this public trial and condemned me to torture. That was yesterday…."

Tears were streaming from Yozak's eyes again as he listened to Conrart, causing the brunette's voice to trail off. "What's wrong?" Conrart asked.

Yozak wiped his tears away, but they kept falling despite his best efforts. He also took in a large, shaky breath and let it out in a huff, clearly trying to regain control of his emotions. "Well, Captain, it looks like there is one huge hole in your memory," he began lightly, although the serious gleam in his eye contradicted the cheery tone of his voice. "It looks like you misplaced about three weeks."

Conrart's jaw dropped. "That isn't possible!" he exclaimed. "I swear it was last night! Or, well, the day before you rescued me. After the trial they beat me and whipped me, but I kept from screaming because I came up with a plan to get out! I couldn't do it because I passed out, and then I woke up here…"

Yozak's hand was on Conrart's shoulder before the smaller man realized that tears were now streaming down his own eyes. He remembered the world fading out, but not in the way that meant he had passed out. Normally when his body overcame his mind it was like tiny black dots took over his vision and his body stopped listening until he was completely unconscious. This time it was like the world went gray, and his mind stopped before his body. "What's the date?" he asked. Yozak pointed toward a calendar with large Xs marking the days that had passed. True to his word, it had been three weeks since his trial – closer to four. "That can't be."

"Conrart –" Oh, that was bad. Yozak never called Conrart by his first name unless he was being serious. He always called him "Captain" or some other random nickname when things were at least manageable. "—you were tortured. I don't know any of the details, but I do know what happened to your body. You were beaten and your ribs were broken. How are your shoulders?"

Conrart rotated his shoulders – or tried to anyway. They didn't move much since they had been wrapped to prevent movement. It was amazing he had been able to almost sit up without realizing earlier. "They were dislocated from the weeks you spent hanging from the ceiling of your cell," Yozak supplied when he saw Conrart's surprise. "I pulled you down myself."

His throat wasn't working. His whole body was starting to ache, but he didn't think any of it was current; probably just memories from the time he spent in that dank cell. His ass hurt more than anywhere else, and that scared the shit out of him. Conrart swallowed thickly before he said, "What else?"

"You were cut," Yozak said softly, as if a gentler voice could soften a hard blow. "You were cut all over in different designs, and it's going to scar."

"What?" Conrart asked weakly. He looked down at his hand and noticed for the first time that they were covered with leather gloves. The medicine that human doctor had given him must have been a doozy if he hadn't noticed that he was covered from neck to toe. He wore a long-sleeved blue nightgown he hadn't seen since his mother gave it to him thirty years before. His hands were covered by gloves and his feet, which stuck out from under the blanket, were covered in knee-high slipper boots. He started stripping off his gloves and got a good look at his mangled-looking wrist when Yozak covered his hand with his larger one.

"It's awful," Yozak warned, his eyes shining brightly with worry. "You can see it if you really want to, but it's terrifying to look at."

Conrart swallowed and continued peeling off his gloves. Yozak backed off, giving his friend room.

The skin was mottled with scabs, many of which were peeling off to reveal pale scar tissue. His hands had obviously been broken again since his fingers were much more crooked than they had been, but a healer had been brought in to fix the bones. If they'd called in a healer for his bones, then why hadn't they healed the cuts? They looked horrible, and keeping them from becoming infected must have been very difficult. Unless…

Unless they healed his bones so they could break them all over again. They could keep breaking them as long as a healer could keep healing him.

Conrart felt sick. He could hear the sound of men laughing at him, the laughter growing louder after each painful crack of a finger bone snapping in half. He shoved his hand back into the glove and looked at Yozak in desperation. "Why couldn't I get out?" he asked, his voice so choked with tears it came out as a whisper.

Yozak shrugged helplessly before he moved over to sit on Conrart's bed. He reached forward and slowly pulled his friend up into a sitting position, pulling him into a hug. Conrart buried his face into Yozak's shoulder as he sobbed, telling Yozak what he remembered between gasps. He didn't see Yozak's face go ghostly pale or how his eyes shone with a fire only hatred could blaze.

By the time Yozak laid his friend back down on the bed, Conrart had cried himself out. He looked up at his friend's cerulean eyes tiredly, halfway to sleep already, and said; "Thank the Great One that you came to save my ass. I don't know what I would have done without you."

Then his eyes closed and he fell asleep, too tired to notice the stricken look on his friend's face. He was out so fast, he didn't hear Yozak say, "I may have saved you, Captain, but I wasn't in time to save your ass."


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

Conrart's arrival home a few days later was a very strained affair. Lady Cecilia ran down the front steps of Blood Pledge Castle and threw herself on her middle son with tears of worry and joy streaming down her face. Conrart, who was still pretty dopey from that first dose of painkiller, had been grudgingly riding in the carriage from the harbor, so his mother had clobbered him as he was trying to make his way down the steps and back onto solid ground. Needless to say, they had tumbled down to the ground in a fairly graceless and painful heap.

"Oh, my sweet Conrart, are you all right?" she demanded in that sickly sweet tone that sometimes grated on Conrart's nerves. This time, however, he was extremely happy to hear it, because it meant that his mommy could take care of him.

He was too choked up to answer her question, but he didn't need to since she was checking him over herself. She looked into his eyes first and saw that he was tracking her movements. Then she moved on to his skin, checking to make sure he wasn't too pale and that he didn't have any serious injuries. When she reached for his collar to start unbuttoning Conrart's shirt – in public no less – Conrart finally reacted. He pulled her hands away from his clothes and held them together close to his heart and said, "Mother, please don't."

She looked at him for a moment before very slowly lowering her hands. Then she stood and moved aside – but not away – so that Gwendal and Yozak could lift Conrart to a standing position since his arms were still wrapped to prevent movement.

And that's when Conrart noticed Yuri and Wolfram staring at him from the castle's steps, both looking at him with twin horrified expressions. He turned his gaze down, unable to meet the eyes of the brother whose love he never seemed to gain and the King whose heart he would never have.

He'd fallen for Yuri. From the first time he'd seen his new king his heart had sung for the boy. Every time the boy did something sweet or naïve he felt his devotion deepening. Yes, he knew it was unhealthy. He realized that a majority of his feelings were still for Julia's soul and not the young Maoh's body, but he couldn't help being in love. But why, WHY did he always have to fall for someone he couldn't have? It was obvious that Yuri, like Julia, didn't return his feelings.

Conrart moved numbly up the steps and bowed to his king. Then, without saying a word, he moved past the royal couple and into the castle. He allowed his mother to lead him toward his bedroom, taking his time on the stairs because his body still wasn't up to that much exercise. They'd starved him, he remembered, so his body had started eating his muscle when all of his fat had been used up, making movement of any kind harder than it should have been.

When he reached his suite his mother led him through the small visiting room and to his sleeping chamber. The line of family, friends, and servants following them were blocked from entering – even Yuri – as Yozak closed the front door in their faces. If any of them had been as knowledgeable as the redhead was about the castle, the closed door wouldn't have mattered since there were secret passages in the walls, but the only person who knew of those was already in the room. When Yozak turned he saw Lady Cecilia gingerly unbuttoning Conrart's shirt, her lips pressed into a thin line as the cuts on Conrart's chest were slowly revealed.

On the ship Yozak hadn't let Conrart look at his body. Conrart, for his part, expressed some curiosity, but didn't try very hard to resist Yozak's desire that he not see the damage. He hadn't wanted his friend to sink into a non-responsive depression when they were alone. Yozak wouldn't have been able to handle that as well as transporting his best friend home all by himself, and Conrart had understood already to a certain degree that his body would forever remind him of the torture he endured.

But he couldn't keep Conrart completely covered all the time. The first time Conrart had needed to use his chamber pot he got a good look at the carvings on his penis. He'd flipped out, shouting in horror and throwing the chamber pot across the room. Then he'd retreated into himself for the rest of the day and wouldn't look Yozak in the eye afterword.

That night, he'd had his first night terror. Yozak had woken up to his friend's terrified screams. When he rushed over with his knife to fend off an intruder, Conrart had tried to jump out of the bed and attack him. He eventually managed to get Conrart calmed down, but when he asked what had frightened him so much the younger man could only shrug his shoulders. He had no memory of the dream that had frightened him, but he couldn't stop crying.

Conrart stood in front of his full length mirror and stared at his body once his lady mother had finished undressing him. His arms and torso were still wrapped in white bandages to prevent further damage and to allow him to heal, but the damage still visible was enough to have the former Demon Queen stepping away from her son in horror. For his part, Conrart didn't even notice his mother's reaction. He was too busy taking in the pattern he would see on his body for the rest of his life.

Yozak walked up to his friend and stood behind him, taking in the pale lines that had once been crusted with red. "You know, Captain, this is looking a lot better than it did."

Conrart didn't react. His eyes were unfocused and glazed, as if he was watching something unfold in his mind.

"I'm surprised you didn't catch an infection, considering how dank your cell was," Yozak continued lightly, although his eyes kept watching his friend in case he was needed. The light came back into Conrart's eyes, as well as tears.

"That's because they kept dipping me in a tub of rubbing alcohol," Conrart forced out between gritted teeth. "They did it every day… and…"

When Conrart crumpled in on himself Yozak had already grabbed him and pulled him tightly to his chest. Lady Cecilia walked over to them and Conrart pushed Yozak away, latching onto his mother. Yozak watched the Lady comfort her son, taking him over to the bed and sitting him down almost directly on her lap. He waited until Conrart had completely cried himself to sleep in his mother's embrace and she had tucked him into bed before he spoke.

"You handled him very well."

Lady Cecilia brushed the bangs out of Conrart's face affectionately. "Even if I was never a good queen, I always felt that I was a decent mother. But it took a great friend to truly help my little Connie turn into the man he is, and it took that great friend working tirelessly to bring him home." She looked up at Yozak and smiled. "And I'm glad you were the one to do it."

"I was too late," Yozak said in a low voice. "He was raped. He just doesn't remember it yet."

"I hope he never does," Lady Cecilia said seriously. The flamboyant bimbo he had known for most of his life was gone, replaced by the Queen that she could never quite become. "I wish he never has to remember the pain, but knowing my little Connie, he won't be able to move on until he remembers it and makes it a part of himself. He had to do it that way with his human half, and he had to do that with Julia's death. He'll do it with this, and this time he knows he has support, just like last time."

Yozak snorted. "He never needed my support, Lady."

Cecilia gave him a disapproving look that she had only ever given him once before, like he should know better. "You talked him into allowing the Great One to send him to that other world to deliver Julia's soul. You showed him how to be proud about his heritage. You taught him how to climb up trees and get dirty right before formal dinners with important dignitaries. If that's not support then I don't know what is."

She walked up to Yozak and put her arms around him, holding him close in a tight hug. He stiffened, wary of the words she was speaking. But her voice, when she continued, was soft and filled with affection. "Besides, we both know that he went and found you the first time Wolfie said he hated him because of his human side. And we both know that you were the one that supported him and carried him home when he wanted to walk off the battlefield at Leutenburg."

Yozak wrapped his arms around the woman who had, through the decades, somehow managed to become his second mother. He had to bend awkwardly over her to lower his head to her shoulder. When had she become so short? It couldn't have happened recently. "But he's only ever worked through things on his own," he said into her neck. "I'll nag and niggle him, but he's going to have to do this on his own."

Conrart's lady mother pushed Yozak away and smacked him gently on his arm. "Why would my baby do this on his own when you're going to be there every step of the way, being the besotted lover you are?" she teased. Yozak sighed and rolled his eyes. This was the same thing she'd been teasing him with since the first time he had brought Conrart home after their first wrestling match when they were still kids. Conrart never heard it, but the lady always seemed to think that he and Yozak were going to get together one day.

"I'm not a besotted lover," Yozak groaned as he headed for the bedroom door, taking comfort from the little bit of normalcy Cecilia had given him. "I'm going to let the others into the living room. Keep this door closed."

"Of course, sweetie! I have to get myself spruced up, so I'll be out in a few minutes!" Back to her normal flamboyant self, Yozak noticed.

He went to the outer chamber and noticed that everyone, even that Murata kid, had already let themselves in and settled around the room, making themselves comfortable. "Hey, who let you in?" he asked with his hands on his hips, pretending to be stern.

Of course, Murata saw through his bull shit first. "I did, sir. I figured it would be okay if we all sat down. Gwendal looked like he was going to break the door down, and Wolfram had gathered his fire to burn it to cinders, so I decided it would be best if I just picked the lock."

"…And?" Yozak prompted.

"You hadn't locked the door," Murata replied with a smile that closed his eyes. "I spent five minutes picking the lock for nothing."

That was it. All of Yozak's energy – the nerves that had kept him going for the past few days – drained out of him. He made it to the sofa and sank into it, taking comfort in the familiar faces around him. "Did someone call for Gisela?" he asked as he rubbed a tired eye.

"Gunter went to fetch her," Gwendal ground out from the far corner.

Yozak nodded, and then he started telling everyone the whole story, from his troubles at sea just after he left the Great Demon Kingdom down to how he got Conrart off the ship this afternoon. When he finished, Yuri stood up and said, "We'll have to help rehabilitate Conrad so he can return to his former vigor!"

"You know, Kiddo, that's a really tall order," Yozak said. Everyone else really liked the kid – hell, even Yozak did – but he was still too naïve to understand the difficult and daunting task ahead. "We're going to have to take this one day at a time. If we're lucky, we'll get Conrart back again. But we'll have to see what happens, and how we'll deal with it when it does."

"But you can bring Conrad back!" Yuri said enthusiastically. "If anyone can do it, you can! You'll have everyone here to help!"

That was it! Yozak's temper flared, and he snapped at his boy king. "Oh, yeah? And what are you going to do to help me, Your Highness? Are you going to talk about baseball? Are you going to talk about justice? How can you deliver justice when it'll probably start a war? How can you get Conrart to go outside and play that stupid ballgame if he can't even stand to look at his naked body when he gets dressed? Are you going to be there for him in the middle of the night when he wakes up screaming? Are you going to be there to comfort him when he can't remember his nightmare but can't stop crying? Where the _fuck_ are you going to be when the man who leads you around by the nose needs your help to feel strong? I'm sorry, _Highness_, but kids should keep their flimsy promises to themselves until they've grown up enough to know what they're offering!"

"Gurrier!" Gwendal snapped from his corner, forcing Yozak to break eye contact with the little boy in cowering in the chair before him to look up at his commanding officer. He hadn't realized it, but as he'd ranted he'd stood up and advanced on his king, using his height to intimidate the poor kid. Wolfram had stood up to defend his fiancé, but he hadn't had the courage to step into Yozak's path. The fear in his eyes was almost palpable. No one else had moved. Even Gwendal had stayed in his corner. "That's enough," he added.

Yozak sighed and retreated back to the sofa to sit down, immediately feeling ashamed for his outburst. The instant his ass made it to the cushion the front door swung open and Gisela marched in, closely followed by her father. She bypassed all of the people crowding the sitting room and walked over to the Queen, who had probably been standing in the doorway since Yozak started his speech. Lady Cecilia stepped aside to let the healer pass, but her eyes never left Yozak once. Her face was blank – her expression unreadable. Slowly, with Gisela busy inside taking care of her new patient, the former Demon Queen closed the door behind her as she stepped toward the waiting group. Yozak stood to face her with his head bowed.

"I'm sorry, Momma," he said weakly. "I shouldn't yell at Kings."

She didn't move from the door when he used the name he used to call her when he was young. She didn't even blink. "No, you shouldn't." Her voice was deadly serious.

"I'll go to my room," he offered weakly. He started heading for the door with his eyes lowered. Nobody else in the room moved to make his passage to the door any easier, but they all watched him quietly as he passed.

"No," Lady Cecilia said as he reached the doorway. Yozak turned back to her only to see tears streaming down her face. "Stay."

Yozak walked back to the couch and stiffly took his seat. He sat straight-backed with his hands placed directly on his knees as he waited for Gisela to tell him what he already knew about Conrart's condition. Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Gwendal towering over him with a soft look in his eye. He took strength from the support he was being offered as he went back to waiting with his chosen family.


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

Gisela had nothing new to offer Conrart, which hadn't surprised Yozak at all. She had, however, informed them both of a lot of damage that had been healed by healers in Big Cimeron too many times or incorrectly. Most of the damage had been centered on Conrart's hands, feet, and nose. His nose actually looked fine, and so did his feet, but his hands were bent and crooked from too many healings performed too quickly. She said that one day, if Conrart ever felt up to it, she would be willing to knock Conrart out and re-break the bones in his hands and heal them up properly.

Conrart hadn't reacted. In fact, after Gisela allowed Cecilia and Yozak into the room, Conrart hadn't even looked up from his lap. He sat there in silence listening as Gisela and Yozak spoke. Yozak had thanked the healer for the check up and had asked her to go into the antechamber to tell everyone else what was going on. Conrart still didn't say anything once the healer left, so Yozak moved to the side of the bed next to Conrart's feet, and started hitting Conrart's legs with the closest thing at hand: a mostly-worn seat cushion from the seat by the wardrobe.

That snapped him out of it. "What the hell?" Conrart snapped angrily. "What did I do?"

"Nothing," Yozak said with a glib smile, tossing the cushion back to its chair across the room. "You were off in your own world again, Captain, so I brought you back. His Highness is ditzy enough, thank you."

"I heard some yelling," Conrart said calmly with a small smirk. "What did he say to set you off?"

"He said some bullshit about supporting you that sounded all nice and everything, but because I'm tired I yelled at him." He shrugged and pulled a face. "I went a little overboard."

Yozak felt a hand hit him over his head. When he turned to look he saw Lady Cecilia standing over him with fire in her eyes and her hand poised to strike again. "You little _liar_! That little idiot put all the burden of rehabilitating my baby on your shoulders, and you told him how it really is! King Yuri is cute and sweet, but he's young and inexperienced. Never belittle yourself again!" With that she went over to Conrart and shoved his head in her breasts under the pretense of a hug.

Had he belittled himself? He hadn't thought so. Yozak had been worried about Conrart's mental health since he saw him hanging in that dank cell covered in scabs and dripping with blood. He'd been near panicking since he saw the blood coming from Conrart's back end. Conrart had a natural tendency to take bad things way too hard – to internalize them and allow the dark, depressive thoughts to pull him into the dark, dank prison of his own mind. Dealing with that had always been difficult, and would be even more so now that Conrart had constant visual reminders of the most recent bad thing all over his body.

It had taken a whole two years to get Conrart to stop flinching every time he looked in the mirror and saw the cut through his eyebrow. And he still hadn't forgiven himself for Lady Julia's death.

"Mother, I can't breathe!" Conrart wailed as he pushed his mother off of him. Fortunately, Conrart had been behaving fairly normally so far. That would probably change when Conrart became more mobile and had to look at his scarred body every day… and when his memories became more real and undeniable than nightmares in the dark. Yozak took a deep breath to steady his nerves before leaping back into the chaos that could only be termed "hurricane Cecilia."

"My Lady Mother," Yozak said ever so politely from directly behind the blonde nymphette, using all of the charm he could muster to draw her attention. She turned to look at him in surprise, dropping her middle son back onto the bed, forgotten. "He needs to relax," he said, indicating Conrart.

Conrart, for his part, looked up at his mother calmly. "Can I please talk to Yozak for a little bit, mother?"

"Of course, Darling!" she called over her shoulder as she waltzed out of the room. "You boys don't stay up too late!"

Once the door was closed Yozak shook his head and sat heavily at the end of Conrart's bed. "Does she even realize that it's just past midday?" he asked weakly.

"You know Mother," Conrart retorted with an irritated look. "She's as wispy as the air she can wield."

"Wispy?" Yozak asked thoughtfully. "Gunter's kind of like that, too. Do you think that all air people are wispy?"

Conrart shrugged. "Fire people are energetic and assertive, like Wolfram, and earth people are steady and strong like Gwendal. I think people are attracted to the element that matches their personalities the best."

"Sometimes I wonder why we can't use power or connect to the elements," Yozak said quietly. "But, more often I wonder what element you would be. You're strong like Earth, but passionate like fire. You're fast moving like air, and your presence sooths like water. I can't choose just one."

Conrart smiled. "You'd be Earth," he mumbled. "You support me. I wouldn't be home right now if it weren't for you."

"Aw, Captain, you touch me!" Yozak teased, placing his hand over his heart. In truth, he _was_ touched. Conrart always noticed the things he did. Even when he was mourning Julia, he thanked Yozak for supporting him off the battlefield. In fact, he'd thanked him at the end of Julia's funeral service.

"But I have a question for you," Conrart said. "Is it just me, or does Mother think you and I are lovers?" Conrart asked.

Yozak felt himself pale a little. Conrart's eyes narrowed as he watched his friend's reaction, and Yozak noticed that the wheels in his friend's head were turning. "Yeah, she does," he finally replied. "Honestly, I'm surprised you haven't noticed her setting us up before now." He sounded casual, but he didn't feel calm at all. He actually wanted to kick the bed, he was so frustrated. It was bad enough that Lady Cecilia kept dropping hints, but Conrart was going to just outright deny it the same way Conrart always denied his feelings. It happened with Julia, and was happening with Yuri. Now, knowing Conrart, he was just going to deny him without even asking how Yozak felt.

Of course, Yozak didn't really know how he felt. This was his best friend he was thinking about! He'd never once considered kissing him, let alone fucking him. But he never minded cuddling with him, like he had done after Conrart's first few fights with his brothers about his heritage, or after Julia died and he needed the consolation. From what he knew, that wasn't normal friend behavior, was it? And the fact that he'd wanted to cuddle with Conrart again after his night terrors on the ship, but Conrart was too afraid of touch to allow it. Classic rape victim behavior, from what Yozak understood.

And here it came: Conrart's unintentionally heartless reply. "Really? I never noticed. Well, mother does tend to stick her nose in where it isn't needed."

Yozak felt himself implode. Why was he so disappointed? It wasn't like he was hoping for Conrart to look at him and say, "Well, would you like to try going out with me?" or "You know, I wouldn't mind proving her right," or anything. Well, anyway, he put on a cheery look that, under normal circumstances, never would have fooled his best friend and said, "Yeah, I guess. She did end up kind of taking me in, so I can't complain too much."

"I guess not," Conrart replied, completely missing how he had just hurt his friend, too absorbed in his own misery to really notice anything. Then he decided to twist the knife. "Is his Highness out there?"

"He's waiting to speak with you," Yozak confirmed through clenched teeth. Conrart's infatuation with that boy was completely unhealthy, bordering on pedophilia. He wished his friend could just give up. The kiddo could barely accept homosexuality as a natural course in their country, let alone take the stick out of his ass and wonder about his own sexual preferences. The kid didn't seem to be attracted to women, or anybody for that matter. The voluptuous Lady Cecilia – every straight or bisexual man's favorite wet dream – even scared the shit out of the boy.

"Could you send him in?" Conrart asked, pulling Yozak out of his thoughts.

"Yes, Captain, right away," Yozak said as he stood and calmly left the room. He walked up to his little puppet king and said, "He'd like to talk to you."

"Oh, all right. Thanks, Yozak!" Yuri beamed.

Yozak couldn't take it anymore. He'd had enough. He walked out of Conrart's suite and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

><p>Yuri closed the door softly as he walked into Conrad's sick room. Whatever had happened to make Yozak mad had happened when he was talking to his godfather, so he wanted to make sure not to upset Conrad.<p>

"Hey, Conrad, how're you feeling?" he asked the man sitting up in the bed.

"I'm feeling better, Highness," Conrad said with his trademark smile on his face.

"Conrad, call me Yuri!" Yuri said. The name argument was more tradition these days than anything serious. He got the feeling that everyone had heard it a few times too many, but he kept it up because he always said it to Conrad. It was their thing.

"Of course, Yuri," Conrart said in a voice as gentle as ever – almost too gentle and self-deprecating. Conrad wasn't showing any of the self-confidence he usually displayed, and that more than anything frightened Yuri.

"What's wrong with Yozak?" Yuri asked with his usual lack of tact as he pulled the chair beside the wardrobe up next to Yozak's bed. There was already one on the other side that he assumed Gisela and Yozak had used when they were in here, but for some reason he didn't feel like going that far into the room. He was getting a feeling off Conrad he didn't like, and he wanted to be able to run for help if Conrart suddenly needed it.

Conrad's eyes widened when he heard Yuri's question. "I don't know. He was fine when he left."

"I've never seen him so mad!" Yuri said, waving his arms around in big gestures in an attempt to act normal and ignore the strange vibe coming from Conrart. "He slammed the door when he left! Even that time after I first met him and he thought I was a coward he never showed his real temper. Back then he was just testing me, and sure he was wary about a kid like me leading a country, but I can understand that. He hasn't been that mad at me since, so it makes me wonder what you guys were talking about that made him so mad."

The boy sure had matured since his first arrival, Conrart noticed. He was paying attention more to the moods of the people around him, and he was starting to take on the responsibilities of his role, much to Gwendal's relief. Of course, his perception brought up an uncomfortable question for Conrart: what had he said that set Yozak off? Was it his dismissal of a potential romantic relationship?

That didn't make sense. Yozak had never expressed any interest in him outside of their current friendship. Conrart may have toyed with the idea of sleeping with Yozak for a while after he'd delivered Yuri's soul and before Yuri first arrived at the Great Demon Kingdom. But that had just been because he was lonely. He'd been desperate enough to consider anyone as a potential partner, even his best friend. Anyway, it didn't matter now since he'd fallen for Yuri. And it wasn't like Yozak had ever suggested they sleep together or anything.

Besides, why would Yozak want someone as filthy as him?

"Um, Conrart, did you hear me?" Yuri asked gently. Conrart snapped back to the present, mildly embarrassed that he'd zoned out in front of his precious person.

"I'm sorry, Yuri, but I was just thinking about my conversation with Yozak. My mother seems to think that he and I should become lovers, and I'm afraid I said something that made him angry."

Yuri stared at him wide-eyed and surprised. "You mean, you two aren't together?" he asked, his voice full of amazement.

"Of course not!" Conrart defended sharply. "He's my best friend."

"I'm sorry, it's just that the way you two are so touchy-feely when you're together I assumed that you two loved each other like that. I mean, I know I was against same sex relationships when I first got here, but now I've realized it's not such a bad thing. Seriously, I think I actually like Wolfram now. I kind of wish he'd kiss me."

Conrart felt something inside himself shatter and his insides dropped into nothingness. Suddenly he was so tired, he could barely keep his eyes open, so he slid down into his covers and rolled onto his side facing away from his king. "I'm really tired. Could you please leave me for a while?" he asked after a while when Yuri hadn't gotten up to leave.

"Sure, Conrad. Have a good nap."

When he left, Conrart felt tears well up into his eyes, and before he knew it he was crying for another love that would never be his.


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

Yozak looked at his room in the barracks and winced. Normally his area was spotless – because a spy sent out on missions as often as he was didn't have time to accumulate clutter – but now it looked as if a hurricane had blown through and ravaged everything inside. Dresser drawers had been taken out and dumped around the floor. The desk had been swept clear (there was a huge mess of papers lying haphazardly on the floor next to it) with the chair lay bashed apart on top. His mattress lay at an odd angle since the bottom corner of the frame had been kicked askew.

He couldn't help it! Dealing with Conrart could be infuriating at the best of times, and over the past few days his best friend's thick-headedness just made him so mad…

He threw one of his pillows against his dresser and tossed himself down on his bed, making the frame completely give out beneath him so he and his mattresses plopped on the floor with a loud smack. "Fuck Bloody Shit!" he shouted, just to hear something besides silence in his room.

Apparently whatever the young king had said had hurt Conrart. It had caused the brunette to retreat into himself. He barely ate anything, and he refused to sleep. His night terrors had increased, and every time he slept it was only a matter of time – and not very much time at that – before he awoke with screams from reliving his torture. Yozak would be there when he woke, shouting his friend's name and calling for him to wake up, but the poor man refused any comfort that Yozak offered.

The problem was; Conrart was starting to remember some details from his time in Big Cimeron. For example, he remembered hanging from his arms with his ribs broken, and he could recall that he'd been dipped in rubbing alcohol after he'd been carved upon. However, most of the memories he'd managed to scrounge up were after the painful events, and Conrart had told him that the memories were hazy and disjointed at best.

It all made dealing with Conrart nearly impossible. For the most part, they didn't talk about Conrart's time in Big Cimeron. Every time Yozak brought it up, Conrart's temper flared. Yozak could understand that, but he didn't have any idea how to help Conrart deal with it – because the man wasn't dealing with it! In fact, he wasn't doing anything all day other than moping. He was too focused on Yuri's rejection to deal with the mess he was becoming.

And Yozak was being forced to watch his best friend and closest companion spiral out of his reach.

"Great One, what do I do?" Yozak asked the ceiling above him. He wasn't expecting a response.

He got one anyway. "I suggest you fix your bed," Ken Murata said from his doorway. Yozak turned to stare at the boy with black hair and black eyes, whom he respected a lot more than his King right now. During his brooding he hadn't heard the door open.

"I wasn't talking about that, Excellency," Yozak said in the lightest tone he could manage.

Murata smiled and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. "I know you weren't," he said as he walked over to the bed and sat down. "You should do it anyway. And maybe you should requisition a new chair while you're at it. I'll bet the poor guy in charge of the Barrack's furniture will have a conniption when he sees all this… stress relief."

"Are you going to tell me that I'm the best thing for Conrart?" Yozak demanded. Everyone had been saying it – indirectly, of course, since he'd blown up at the king.

"Well, you are, but that's not what I was going to say," the Sage said in a thoughtful tone, his glasses reflecting the light from Yozak's window. "I was going to let you know that although it doesn't seem like it, you being there for Conrart _is_ helping him. He can't see it now, but he's eventually going to realize the support you've been giving him. If you stay with him, I'm sure that eventually he'll open his eyes and realize that you've been there the whole time. When he's managed to move past it, I'm sure he'll realize how much you love him."

Yozak looked at his hands, thinking. He and Conrart had always relied on each other. They'd been together through thick and thin, hell and high water. Conrart and his father had taken Yozak from his personal Hell and brought him to this paradise so he could make his own place – live his own life. Of course he loved Conrart – he'd known that for years. But was that love of a brother strong enough to withstand this stress? Was this feeling he felt for Conrart even the love of a brother?

He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and he turned toward Murata, having forgotten of the other's presence. "You know," the Sage said, "I'm here if you ever want to talk. I'm pretty good at understanding people, even if I'm not the one they really want to talk to."

The redhead blinked in surprise. Murata was the first person to openly offer Yozak a shoulder to lean on. Gwendal had, of course, given him the freedom of choosing his current assignment and had told him that the military was committed to Conrart's recovery – basically saying that Yozak had his support without actually saying it.

Gwendal had also shown up in Conrart's suite in the evenings, taking a shift so that Yozak could get some rest. Between the two of them and Gisela, Conrart was never alone long enough to do something stupidly permanent. Gwendal was helpful, but not in an emotional sort of way. He was too stiff for that.

The problem was: Conrart was the one Yozak could lean on in the past. But he needed something. His furniture could only break so many times before it was beyond help. Murata was wise in the ways of people, and he understood the human/demon heart well enough to manipulate everyone around him. He'd also proven himself reliable, in a strange sort of way. Maybe he could answer a question or two?

"Well," Yozak said, thinking hard about his question, "Do you think Conrart will ever find happiness with a lover?"

Murata's eyes widened with surprise. "That's what you're asking about?" Considering the serious situation his best friend was in, Yozak could understand the Sage's shock. It was kind an awkward question, and was probably inappropriate considering the trials ahead, but it had been weighing on his mind for days.

Yozak looked back down at his hands, his lips tightening into a grim line with worry. "I was thinking before, and I realized that Conrart's been particularly depressed since I left that first day we returned. He wasn't upset with me, I can tell, but he won't tell me what he and King Yuri talked about. Since he's been in love with the Kiddo since they first met here, it makes me think that maybe Conrart confessed to him and was turned down. He's been in love before and never had the guts to let that person know about his feelings, so I think Yuri's rejection crippled him. What do you see in your magic orb, Excellency? Will Conrart ever be happy with someone?"

The Sage was silent, the reflection on his glasses making his expression unreadable. After a few moments he said, "I take it you say this because you are in love with him."

It wasn't a question really, but it was at the same time. Either way, Yozak didn't know how to respond. "He's my best friend."

"Of course he is," Murata said, shifting his head so that Yozak could see his big friendly eyes. "Considering everything you two have been through together, I'd be worried if you weren't as close as you are! But you wouldn't be jealous of your King for taking your best friend's affections if you didn't feel threatened that he'd be taking them away from you. Friendly love can't be taken from one person and given to another the way romantic love can. You're only allowed to be in love with one person at a time."

That didn't sound quite right, Yozak thought. He'd known people to debate between two lovers many times through the decades. But who was he to argue with the Great Sage? That never stopped him before, of course, but he wasn't feeling up for a verbal jousting match over a little trivia just then. So he settled for sticking to the real topic at hand instead of arguing semantics. "I'm not worried that Conrart's going to stop being my friend," he stated evenly.

Why did he feel as if he were lying?

Judging by the skeptical look being thrown his way, Murata wasn't buying it, either. "He'll never stop being your friend, but he may never return the deep feelings you desire from him. It's possible he'll never notice the strong emotional connection the two of you have, and instead mate with someone else."

Yozak shifted on his mattress, but he wasn't physically uncomfortable. He lay back on the bed, but the tension along his spine didn't relax away the way he'd hoped it would. "Well, it's obvious that King Yuri isn't going to be that someone else. He's completely oblivious."

Murata chuckled humorlessly. "He doesn't even realize that he's the reason Conrart's been in such a bad funk."

Finally! This is what he'd wanted to hear. Yozak turned his head to look at Murata and asked, "What did he say?"

"He told Conrart that he's starting to like Wolfram, and that he wants Wolfram to kiss him. He's smart enough to realize that's what set Conrart off, but he still doesn't understand _why_."

Well, that explained a lot. It also proved their leader's naïveté.

Murata leaned back on the mattress and stretched his arms above his head leisurely. "I talked to Conrart, and he refused to say anything about the subject. Eventually he'll get over it, but I think that focusing on this misery is sort of his crutch right now for dealing with his trauma."

"What the fuck?" Yozak exclaimed, rising to a sitting position in his shock. "He's focusing on something bad to avoid dealing with something else that's bad? Is he crazy or something?"

Murata chuckled, causing Yozak to eye him warily. "No, he's focusing on something bad to avoid dealing with something _worse_. The torture he experienced in Big Cimeron was so bad he's blocked almost all of it out! This, at least, is something he can cope with."

That was certainly true. Conrart was certainly used to the feeling of being heartsick, and the brunette had never been given the love and acceptance he'd always wanted. At least, he hadn't been given it by the people he wanted it from. That was why he had always spent so much time with Yozak: the redhead accepted him and listened to him. He… loved him.

And Yozak needed _his_ Conrart back. That was it: he needed Conrart to be Conrart. There was no reason for the need – no specific event that required Conrart specifically to bring a certain skill to the table. He just… needed him.

"Great One, I'm such a hypocrite!" Yozak moaned, covering his face with his hands. "I always told him to tell Julia about his feelings for her but he wouldn't do it, and here I am feeling the same things for him!"

Murata smirked, his eyes hidden behind the glare of his glasses again. "You're not a hypocrite if you didn't know," he said evenly. "I'm sure that when he's recovered enough and the timing's right you'll let him know how you feel."

"Yeah," Yozak said drily as he lowered his hands back to the bed, turning his head so he looked at the Sage lying next to him. "You say that as if my luck would ever let me have good timing!"

Murata smiled and levered himself up to a standing position next to the bed. "You say that as if your timing isn't indicative of your personality! When you are finally able to tell him you'll stumble over the words, say the opposite of what you mean, and eventually get so frustrated with your friend's thick-headedness that you'll shout at him that you love him and force a very hard kiss on him." The boy shrugged and started walking toward the door. "But that's the way you two interact with each other anyway, so I think he'll see that at least the feeling is genuine."

Yozak snorted as his door was closed with Murata on the other side. "I'm not that much of a klutz!"


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

Yozak looked at Conrart and sighed. Wolfram had been trying – and failing – to cheer Conrart up by telling him how Yuri had, for the first time ever, kissed him goodnight. Of course, that had been exactly the wrong thing to say. First Conrart imploded by curling in on himself as he sat in his couch, pulling his knees up a little so they were almost imperceptibly closer to his chest. Then, once it had become clear that Wolfram wasn't going to get the hint, Conrart exploded spectacularly by throwing his breakfast tray at Wolfram's head. Wolfram just barely managed to dodge the tray but Conrart's oatmeal bowl hit his face with a splat. Then Conrart knocked him on his ass and stood over him, wielding his old wooden practice sword aggressively.

"Captain, your lady mother will kill you if Wolfram suddenly disappears," Yozak said as he stepped between his best friend and his best friend's obnoxious little brother. It was Wolfram's own fault, but Yozak knew that the blonde had no idea what he'd just done to torment Conrart. The prince was too self-obsessed to have ever really noticed the other man's feelings for their young king, despite all the infidelity accusations he tossed around every day.

Conrart stood with his old wooden sword in front of him, no expression on his face. Through gritted teeth he said, "Get him out of here."

"Can do, Captain," Yozak said as he turned his back on Conrart so he could face Wolfram. He didn't even need to say anything: Wolfram was already halfway out the door. Surprisingly enough, the blonde was silent. That was either a really good, or a really bad thing. Once the Little Lord Brat was gone, he turned to Conrart and said, "That could have probably gone better."

Conrart's lips pursed together in irritation. "Why do I always have to accommodate everyone else?" he demanded angrily. "Why do I have to always be the nice moderator? Why is it that I'm the one who has to get stepped on in order to maintain the peace?"

"Why do you always have to be the one to take on the dirty jobs so no one else has to have their political hands soiled?" Yozak countered. "Why do you always have to be the one to put on a happy face, even when you're upset? Why is it that you always put yourself in the way of two powerful wills that are about to collide? I'll tell you: you're too nice, and you take on too much. Why don't you just tell Wolfram that you have a crush on his fiancé and the fact that they kissed hurts you?"

"I wasn't upset because Yuri kissed my brother," Conrart defended. He didn't sound very convincing, though. His tone was too unsure, and the bravado wavered at the end there.

"Come on, Captain! I've been your friend for how many decades? Do you seriously think that there isn't a thought in your head that I don't already know?" Did Conrart take him for a fool or something?

Conrart seemed to deflate, his irritation leaving him in a large sigh. He set his practice sword within easy reach and sat back down at one end of his couch. Yozak sat in the chair across from him with his feet under his seat so he could be prepared on the off chance his buddy decided to throw something else. "What have you been up to today?" Conrart asked suddenly as he picked up a Spork on the coffee table before him and started eating a grapefruit – the only food left that hadn't been thrown at his brother, which lay ignored on the floor. They'd send for a maid once Conrart had finished eating.

That's how their conversations seemed to go lately. Yozak would, somehow, bring up a touchy subject, and Conrart would ignore him and ask him about his day. It was all evidence that Conrart wasn't dealing with anything. So, he decided to try a different tactic. "I've been spending time with an injured friend of mine. I like the guy fine enough, but he keeps pushing me away. What should I do to get him to open up to me?"

Conrart leveled a knowing look at Yozak and said, "You know, you're not the only one who can read his best friend's mind."

Yozak forced his back to relax as he smiled, trying to put Conrart at ease. "Well, considering all the shit you survived, you technically are still injured even though Gisela's healed your body. And you keep pushing me away despite the fact that you adore me and know that I'm too cute to hurt you." He batted his eyelashes at Conrart, who only shot him a withering look just long enough to communicate that he wasn't in the mood to tolerate jokes. "But seriously, the fact that you aren't talking to me at all is starting to bother me."

Conrart stared at the book on the table before him. "I just… can't talk," he mumbled.

"Why not?" Yozak asked.

Conrart shot a glare at him before returning his focus to his remaining breakfast. "It's not like I don't want to," he said. "I just… can't. I have the words, but they won't come out."

"Strange…" Yozak murmured. "I thought you couldn't talk to me about your torture because I'm too cute and innocent, and you don't want to corrupt me."

Conrart snorted as he jammed his spoon into the meat of his grapefruit and tried to lever it up. The chunk of fruit broke free and flew to Conrart's right, arcing over the end table and landing disgracefully on the floor. Conrart glared at it before returning to his battle with the fruit single-mindedly. "I very much doubt you're any kind of innocent," Conrart said after a minute of fruitless struggle, returning to the conversation. "You were the one to tell me all about your first time in precise and graphic detail."

"True," Yozak said seriously. "And that's all the more reason why you should open up to me. I'm not as innocent as I look. I can handle anything you throw at me."

With a heavy sigh Conrart set his Spork down on the coffee table and leaned back into the couch, bringing his feet up so that his knees draped over the armrest. Yozak noticed that despite the casualness of the position, if he wanted access to Conrart's vulnerable places he would have to move around to the side of the couch. By the time he would manage to maneuver himself into position, Conrart would be able to stand and defend himself. His friend was constantly using subtle, defensive body language like this, and it was starting to worry him. Could he not trust his own best friend?

"I can't tell Wolfram that I'm in love with Yuri because he'll throw his fire lion at me," Conrart said a little too casually for it to be true.

Yozak snorted. "You've dodged Wolfram's fire attacks about every day since he learned to wield it. I don't think that's an issue."

"And I don't want to hurt him." Another convenient half-truth.

That one was more believable, but not by much. "Captain, Wolfram got hurt because you didn't hug him when you brought me to the castle for the first time. He threw a ball at your head and forgave you the next day. He gets over things quickly." He paused for a moment, but when it became clear that Conrart wasn't going to say anything – his arms were crossed in front of his chest and he was steadfastly glaring at his boots – he prompted him. "Captain? Why won't you tell Wolfram and Yuri about your feelings?"

"BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND FOR THEM TO REJECT ME!" Conrart exploded. He leaped to his feet to fast Yozak couldn't see him move. "Wolfram already hates me! The instant he found out that my father was human he turned me away! And Yuri would never even consider me! I mean, it's taken him this long to start considering Wolfram, and Wolfram is the obvious choice for Yuri. Everyone can see it!"

"Why is Wolfram the obvious choice?" Yozak asked calmly. He hadn't moved during Conrart's outburst. He kept his seat and watched as the younger man began pacing the space between the couch and the coffee table, his grapefruit left forgotten.

"Because Fire and Water balance," Conrart said. He sounded like he'd practiced this reasoning in his head a thousand times as he convinced himself that Yuri could never be his. "Because Yuri needs someone to challenge him. Because…"

"You know, you challenge him," Yozak cut in, causing Conrart to stop in his tracks and stare at his best friend. "You talk to him and explain the tough things to him so he can understand what he's doing. You constantly support him, make his wishes and desires come into being despite the way things really are. You protect him and shelter him and keep him happy. The very least you deserve is his love."

"Then why don't I have it!" Conrart burst out. He wasn't quite shouting, but it was a very near thing. "How come he's falling for Wolfram?"

"Maybe it's because Wolfram needs Yuri more than you do," Yozak said softly.

Conrart jerked back like he'd been smack in the face. Then he sat down on the couch as though his legs no longer had the strength to support his weight. "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice a weak, hoarse whisper.

"Well," Yozak said, licking his lips nervously and leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees while he looked Conrart in the eye. He'd been thinking about this since his talk with Murata three days before and he'd come up with a theory. The question was: would Conrart see it the same way\? "I noticed a long time ago that Yuri challenges Wolfram. Ever since they first met Yuri hasn't accepted any of Wolfram's bullshit. He keeps Wolfram off his guard constantly, expanding your brother's perspective in ways that you and Gwendal can't. You know, like when he did that summer wrestling thing when Wolfram challenged him over Yuri's proposal or whatever it was called…"

"Sumo wrestling," Conrart corrected. His voice was very quiet and devoid of emotion, so Yozak couldn't tell how he was taking everything. He kept plugging away, though, hoping that he was getting through to his friend.

"Okay, sumo wrestling sounds better than summer wrestling. But besides that, Yuri never lets up on his moral high horse, forcing Wolfram to take the high ground and be a better man. It feels good to be needed, Conrart! And, quite frankly, Yuri doesn't do anything for you!"

Conrart was silent for a moment before he said, "He accepted me back from Big Cimeron without punishing me. He did that for me."

"Yeah, and he plays baseball with you. And he's your king. He'll do that with anybody because that's the type of kid he is. But, Conrart, he wasn't there for you when your family turned away. He wasn't there for you when you joined the military. He will never follow you into battle, or carry you out of a torn and bloody war zone. He needs you as a mentor and an adviser, and you need him as a king and a ward, but he needs a lover who needs what only he can give personally. You need someone who needs what only you specifically can give them just as much."

"And who do you suggest?" Conrart asked. His eyes were very bright with a mixture of fire and unshed tears, but his voice was strong and angry. The anger was probably keeping him from crying again – which he'd been doing too frequently since his recent return – and gave him the strength and stubborn will to sit through this very difficult conversation.

"I don't dare choose your mate," Yozak said after a brief pause as he leaned back in his chair, but he didn't break eye contact with Conrart. If he did, he felt that his friend would take the opportunity to bolt. "That can only be up to you, but you have to know that you're needed and loved. Gwendal needs you, and the military, and even Yuri and Wolfram. But here's what I want you to know: You're my best friend, and I will do everything I can to carry you off this battlefield in one piece. I will always be here for you."

Conrart just stared at Yozak for a long time after he finished his speech. He didn't blink or move, and it barely even looked as if he were breathing. After several minutes of the two men watching each other, Conrart looked down at the coffee table. He picked up his spork and started digging into his grapefruit again, but this time he seemed more like he was actually trying to eat it rather than turn it into mulch. "I know you're always going to be here for me," he said around a mouthful of fruit. "But I'm going to have to think about what you just said."

Yozak smiled. That was the signal he needed: Conrart had listened to him, and although he didn't agree with him right now, he was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and think about it. "That's all I want," he said as he stood up. "I'm going to go fetch a maid to go clean up the stuff you threw at Little Lord Brat. And never fear," he said, stopping suddenly in his tracks and spinning around toward Conrart with his arms up in a halting motion, the expression on his face comically serious. "I will not tell your lady mother that you threw your breakfast at your brother. I love you too much to actually let her kill you."

Before Conrart could react, Yozak had beat it out the door. He could still hear Conrart's laughter from his position just inside the hall, though, and he continued on his way with a spring to his step that had been missing since his friend had been taken.

Wolfram stepped into the room he was sharing with Yuri and walked over to his fiancé on the bed. He'd spent most of the day in serious contemplation, wondering about the strange encounter he'd had with Conrart. Having been unable to come to any conclusions in his mother's garden, in the stables, or when training with his men, he'd decided to come inside and try to go to sleep.

Yuri noticed the strange behavior of his boyfriend, though. He watched as Wolfram changed into his frilly pink nightgown and climbed into bed, all the while distracted and stumbling into things. He decided that it would probably be a good idea if he discovered what the problem was. "Hey, Wolfram, what's up?"

"Nothing!" Wolfram snapped, turning away from Yuri in the bed.

"Okay..." Yuri said, keeping his eyes on the man he knew was lying. He went back to reading the report in his hands, figuring that Wolfram would open up whenever he felt like talking.

He didn't have long to wait.

"Conrart threw his breakfast at me this morning!" Wolfram snapped suddenly, flopping over onto his back. The bouncing of the bed jarred Yuri's concentration and surprised him enough that he dropped the report. He shot a glare at Wolfram, but his eyes widened in surprise when he saw the serious look turned up toward him.

"Why would he do that?" Yuri asked seriously, wriggling down under the covers so he and his affianced could be eye-to-eye. "He doesn't normally get so angry he throws things. You do it plenty, but not Conrad!"

"He's a stupid half-breed!" Wolfram snapped, but the irritation that was normally in the brash words was absent. Instead, he sounded confused and a little lost, almost as if Conrad's reaction had actually hurt him.

"You know, Wolfram, technically I'm a half-breed, too. And I love you, just like Conrad does. I'm sure that if he threw something at you, there was a reason for it."

Wolfram looked at Yuri for a long time, thinking, before he said, "Right before he threw his tray at me, I was telling him that you kissed me last night for the first time. It doesn't make sense that something like that would make him angry!"

Yuri watched as Wolfram spoke, trying to figure out why his godfather would become so angry at Wolfram, especially since fiancées were supposed to kiss. Earlier that day Yuri had been daydreaming way more than normal during his lessons without trying to escape, and that lackadaisical behavior had actually caught his flighty teacher's attention. Gunter had wondered why the king had been so distracted, so Yuri had confided – okay, been coerced into telling him by a white-haired beast who was flipping out and bleeding from his nose all over the place – that he and Wolfram had kissed for the first time. Then Gunter explained to Yuri that it was expected that two people about to be married would move in together in order to be sure that they could live with each other.

So, that was why Conrad's reaction to the news was particularly shocking. Actually, Conrad didn't flip out at anything. In fact, he'd never shown anything more than mild disapproval of Wolfram's antics before. Yuri was sure that Conrad felt anger, but he never – ever – showed it!

Which brought up the uncomfortable question: what did Wolfram do to set Conrad off?

"Did you do anything? Did you gloat or anything when..."

"Are you saying that I'd gloat about that kiss? Do you really think that _that kiss_ was good enough that I'd brag about it? As if I'd ever do something so distasteful! Do you think that I'm some uncultured wimp like you?" Wolfram demanded hotly, shooting up in bed so that he was leaning over Yuri's prone form.

Yuri, for his part, was so used to Wolfram's outbursts that he didn't even bat an eyelash. He reached for Wolfram's shoulder and pulled the other man back down into a lying position and said, "Of course I'm not saying that you would brag about something private between the two of us, but you do say some very mean things to Conrad, and I was wondering if you said anything that inadvertently made him mad at you."

Wolfram thought for a moment before he said, "No, I was just trying to make him feel better. I told him I had some good news. He asked me what it was, so I said that that wimp I'm engaged to finally manned up and did the right thing by kissing me. I told him I was happy about it and I started telling him about the conversation you and I had afterword about our relationship, but he jumped up with a shout and threw his breakfast tray at me. If Yozak hadn't stepped in it may have come to blows."

"I doubt that since you always fight with your fire," Yuri said. "I'm just thinking that maybe if you didn't do anything to make him angry, then he didn't like what you told him?"

"How could he not like the fact that you and I are together?" Wolfram asked, having settled comfortably between the blankets with his hand resting casually on Yuri's hip. "He's always happy for couples. He reads so many trashy romance novels he could be as much a wimp as you! And he never shows his temper like he did, either."

"Well," Yuri said, thinking hard, "I guess he's being protective. You are his little brother, and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to you, like a broken heart. I'll bet that because he was tortured he couldn't process his feelings, so he reacted the only way he could. I've heard trauma patients have difficulty adjusting back to their normal lives after a disastrous event, and there's nothing more disastrous and traumatic than torture. Once he gets better I'll bet that you'll be able to talk to him about this again."

Wolfram watched Yuri for a long time before he rolled onto his back and stared thoughtfully up at the ceiling. "I guess I can always talk to him about this later. I hadn't realized how much I wanted to tell him this kind of thing until I realized he'd been taken to be tortured."

"And you will!" Yuri insisted. "He just has to get over the things that happened to him."

Wolfram nodded distractedly in agreement, but he kept his eyes trained on the ceiling, lost in thought. "I guess I'll be able to talk to him again later. I'll even apologize if I have to."


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

Conrart heard the knock on his door and ignored it, choosing instead to turn the page of the book he was reading. The knock came again and Conrart ignored it again, this time choosing not to turn the page since he hadn't finished reading it yet. When the knock came for a third time, he lowered the book to his lap and looked over toward Yozak, who was reading his book lying awkwardly in the chair across from him, and said, "He sounds irritated."

"I'm not letting him in," Yozak said without looking up from his reading. "If you want to deal with him, you go right ahead and get the door yourself."

Conrart went back to his book, but when he heard the knock for the fourth time – and this time the knock was so loud he was surprised the door hadn't opened under the weight of it – he tossed his open book down on the end table and stood to answer it. Yozak, noticing his friend's movement, closed his book around a book mark and set it in his lap. However, he didn't move to a proper sitting position, instead leaving his left leg draped haphazardly over the armrest and his back propped against the other armrest and the chair's soft backing.

"What took you so long?" Wolfram demanded as he stepped past his brother when the door was finally opened. "I almost left before you let me in."

"I was reading," Conrart said as he closed the door. He went back to the sofa and resumed his seat, picking up his book and rifling through the pages for his spot. Wolfram plopped himself down on the chair next to Yozak. When Conrart pulled his feet back up onto the couch and picked his novel back up, Wolfram turned an interesting shade of red.

"And you're just going to do that while I'm here?" Wolfram demanded, his voice going high with insult.

"I didn't ask for your visit," Conrart replied, obviously distracted by his book. "You don't have to stay."

Yozak, for his part, didn't say anything. He just kept on with his reading, ignoring everyone else in the room. Nobody noticed, but his lips were pursed in irritation and his eyes weren't moving across the page.

Wolfram sighed and rested back in the chair. "Do you have any more books I could read?" he asked.

Without looking up, Conrart pointed at the stack resting against the wall. Yozak had hauled them up from the castle library earlier that day, and ever since the two had been lost in their respective stories. It was Yozak's way of dealing with Conrart's boredom since Gisela was still refusing to allow Conrart to go back to work. Yozak agreed with her – Conrart was in absolutely no mental state to be able to handle the mundane tasks of his job, let alone the stressful days of protecting their king – but Conrart needed something more than a few hours of weapons practice and horseback riding to keep restlessness at bay.

Since Conrart's explosion at wolfram a week ago, the brunette had sat in silence a lot more than usual. For the first full day after their discussion about Conrart's feelings, Conrart hadn't said a word to Yozak at all. He'd eaten his meals robotically, as if they were tasteless, and he exercised his horse by routine, but his eyes were lost in thought. Gradually over that week, he'd started talking to Yozak again, but Wolfram's name was never mentioned.

He did, however, tell Yozak about his nightmares. He was still having trouble remembering them upon waking, but he did remember the odd images – someone's hand raised to strike or a vision of a stone wall painted in blood. Yozak had started recording the things that Conrart told him so he could show them to Gisela when she asked him how the Captain was doing. He was also going to inform her of anything stressful that happened to Conrart, even their discussion the previous week. Gisela was, after all, the woman in charge of soldiers' physical _and_ _mental_ fitness for duty.

Yozak kept an eye on Wolfram as the boy shuffled through the pile in search for something interesting. When he'd been in the library looking around, the woman who worked there had fetched him the list of books that Conrart had taken out over the years and had given him a list of books that the brunette would probably enjoy. Then he'd picked out a few for himself – about half of the pile now finding a home on Conrart's living room floor. Wolfram eventually managed to find something, but it had taken several minutes.

Conrart, for his part, ignored his little brother. His eyes kept moving back and forth across his page as if the blonde weren't even in the room.

No matter how much of an ass Wolfram made himself into, Conrart hadn't ever pretended his brother had never existed. He'd always offered his hand, no matter how many times it had been slapped away.

The three sat reading for over an hour. Then they were reading for a second hour. The serving girl, Lasagna, brought a meal the three shared as they turned into their third hour. As they entered the fourth, she returned to take the dirty things back to the kitchen. No one spoke a word except for Yozak when he asked Wolfram if he was staying for dinner. Through it all the tension was palpable, but no one did or said anything to relieve it.

After another fifteen minutes Wolfram threw his book to the ground, shouting, "This is stupid!" Then he sat back down on his chair with his arms and legs crossed, nose turned up in the air away from the book.

Conrart sighed, closing his book and placing it in his lap calmly. "What did the book do to anger you?" he asked. He sounded irritated, and Yozak wondered idly from behind his book if the brunette needed to pee. He hadn't been to the privy since before Wolfram's arrival.

"The hero is just a… a… an idiot! He's in love with this guy, and he doesn't even notice that another guy is totally in love with him! But that other guy is his best friend, and never tells him about his feelings! And now the hero just slept with the man he's in love with – who is just using him– and now he's hurt because he found out and he went to the guy who loves him to complain, and that guy is in pain hearing about his love being with someone who just… just…"

Yozak and Conrart exchanged a look, but for two very different reasons. Conrart was just confused: there were too many "he's" and "him's" in Wolfram's story for him to make any sense of it. Yozak, on the other hand, got the gist of it. It sounded like him with Conrart, and how he always watched Conrart pine away for someone who wasn't interested in him.

However, Yozak had already decided that Conrart was the one who needed to deal with Wolfram, so as Conrart said, "I'm sorry Wolfram, but could you please explain that again?" Yozak lifted his book to his face, pretending to read again.

Wolfram, in response to Conrart's question, sighed and uncrossed his arms, instead choosing to lean on the armrest of his chair. "I don't know," Wolfram admitted. "There's the hero, and he's in love with this Duke he works for that doesn't love him back. Through the story he's pining away for the guy to his best friend, who is in love with _him_, the hero, but hasn't told him. Then, after the hero saves the Duke from several assassination attempts, the Duke invites the hero to his bed and they sleep together. Do you get it now?"

"I'm with you so far," Conrart said with a nod.

"Well, then the Duke goes and chats up this other Duke's daughter, and when she asked if he was with the hero, the Duke says no, that he's only sleeping with the hero because the other guy asked, which he didn't do! But the hero hears him and realizes that the Duke doesn't love him at all, so he goes to his best friend, who is still in love with him, and tells _him_ everything that's been going on. Now the friend's upset that the hero's basically been used, and he's whining about it! And the hero still doesn't know that his friend loves him! It's a typical story, so why am I so pissed about it?"

There was a moment after Wolfram finished that Conrart and Yozak sat in silence, absorbing the complicated tale Wolfram had just told them. Yozak wasn't pretending to read anymore. His book was in his lap and he was just thinking that he hoped Conrart would never sleep with Yuri, just so Yozak would never have to hear about it when Conrart's heart was later broken.

Conrart, on the other hand, had a completely different thought on the matter. "Well, it sounds to me like the friend sort of set himself up to get hurt since he never told the hero about his feelings."

Yozak turned to gape at his friend, completely stunned. "Really?"

Conrart gave Yozak a brief quizzical look before he said, "Yes. It was probably fairly obvious that the Duke had no respect for the hero, so the hero shouldn't have allowed anything to happen since he was sleeping with his master and that alone was highly inappropriate, but he couldn't have known about his friend's feelings unless he'd been told. I haven't read that novel, but if it's written the way I think it is then the friend hasn't given the hero any indication of his affections and it makes perfect sense that they haven't been returned." He picked up the novel and looked at the cover. "Yeah, this author is notorious for those sorts of plots."

"Like I said, the hero's an idiot!" Wolfram said. "If this were real life, there would have been indications! It's like you and Yozak when I was little! You obviously noticed that he loved you, or else you two wouldn't have become a couple like you did!"

Yozak's head whipped around to catch Conrart's reaction at exactly the same time that Conrart's head whipped around to look at Yozak. Both sets of eyes were wide and both of their mouths were slightly opened in surprise. Conrart recovered first and said, "Wolfram, I've never been with Yozak. Didn't the king tell you that after I told him?"

"What?" Wolfram demanded at the same time as Yozak. The two fair-haired men looked at each other before Yozak pulled his book up to once more hide his face.

"The day I first returned and Gisela looked me over," Conrart clarified patiently, "His Highness and I visited, and he mentioned that he thought Yozak and I were lovers. I corrected that assumption, but I assumed that he was the only one who thought that since Mother has been trying to push Yozak and me into a relationship for a while. I guess I was wrong."

Wolfram watched his brother talk, noticing for the first time how Conrart seemed to put himself down a little bit in the way he spoke. It made him angry: how come his older brother, who was a war hero and the godfather to their king, seemed to think he wasn't worth much? Wolfram wished he could be as perfect! "Are you insane?" he demanded. "With how lovey-dovey you two are, I'm surprised you don't have any children yet!"

"Wolfram!" Conrart snapped with a warning in his voice. "We are best friends and that is all! End of discussion!"

The slight blonde glanced over to Yozak, who was lounging in his chair facing away from Wolfram with his nose buried in a book. Wolfram noticed the tension in the other man's shoulders and the stiff set to his jaw. Was he angry at this conversation? Why would he be angry? For that matter, why was Conrart so defensive? And why were they ignoring each other? They hadn't even glanced at each other once since he told them about the story he'd been reading!

Oh… no! That couldn't be… Yozak was the best friend and Conrart was the hero? Who the hell was the Duke, then? Unless… "Conrart, are you in love with me?" Wolfram asked.

Conrart's eyes widened and he jerked backward in surprise, nearly throwing himself off the couch with the force of the movement. "What! Are you insane?"

"Then, why did you get mad at me?" Wolfram demanded. "Unless…"

Wait, if Conrart was mad at Wolfram for kissing Yuri, and if Conrart was the Hero in love with a Duke who didn't return his feelings, and if Conrart was repulsed by the idea of incest, then… "Conrart, are you in love with Yuri?" Wolfram queried in a low voice.

Conrart froze; his eyes wide and face drained of color. His chest didn't move for a long time before he started breathing in short, shallow, desperate breaths. Wolfram knew? He figured it out? How? Just from looking at him and Yozak for a few seconds? Wolfram wasn't usually that swift!

He forced himself to take a few deep breaths to calm down. Once he felt more stable, he glanced over at his friend. Yozak was watching him, but Conrart couldn't for the life of him read the expression on Yozak's face. Before he could think it through, Conrart turned back to Wolfram and said, "You don't need to worry about my feelings: I will never act on them. Yuri is my king and I serve at his will – it would be inappropriate for me to pursue a romantic relationship with him, even if he weren't in love with you."

Wolfram looked at his brother, thinking, for a long time. Conrart waited him out patiently – there was nothing else he could do. In the silence, Yozak got up from his chair and moved to stand behind Conrart. The brunette still couldn't stand it when someone touched him, so Yozak simply leant him his presence by standing at his back. Eventually, Wolfram said, "If I ever find out that Yuri really has cheated on me, you'll be the first person I fry."

Yozak burst into laughter, drawing the attention of both brothers. "Trust me, Brat, if His Highness ever does cheat on you, it wouldn't be as himself! He's too honest and naïve to do anything as sinister as that!"

Conrart chuckled. "Honestly, no one would dare even try to draw him away from you! You're too likely to overreact by setting them on fire!"

Wolfram glared at the teasing comments, but instead of jumping up and telling them off like he normally would, he just sat in his chair and tossed Conrart a very sad look. "What about you?"

Conrart sobered immediately. He looked down at his hands before he said, "I don't think that I should pursue a romance right now. I… I don't know if you've realized this, but I hate being around people, but I can't stand to be alone, either. When people touch me, I have flashes of pain and I feel this terrible fear that they're going to hurt me, even though it's probably just Yozak touching my shoulder because I've drifted too deeply into my thoughts and forgot him. With all of the emotional shit I'm dealing with, too, I can't give anything to anyone right now, and it frustrates the hell out of me that I can't even remember why!"

The pity in Wolfram's eyes was unbearable. Conrart couldn't look at them, so Yozak did. The redhead moved toward the blonde, reaching out his hand. "Come on, Little Lord Brat. I think it's time for Conrart to have a bit of a rest," he said gently.

Wolfram stood and allowed Yozak to lead him to the door. Before he walked through the open doorway, though, he turned and whispered, "I hope you can get him to realize that you love him. I don't want for you to turn out like the best friend in my story."

Yozak smiled conspiratorially and leaned in to whisper, "And I don't plan to," directly into Wolfram's ear before he pushed the boy out into the hall and closed the door in his face.


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8_

Conrart awoke with a start as he fell out of bed. He picked himself up off the ground, rubbing his ass. It had been hurting every time he woke up. His nightmares had been getting worse, and he was starting to remember… things… about his time spent in Big Cimeron that were painful. He could remember some things very vividly, like all the times his fingers had been broken or the time his skin had been sliced from the base of his neck to the souls of his feet. Then, when he awoke, his asshole hurt like it had been violated. It hadn't hurt in real life since Gisela healed him up, but this phantom pain made him wonder if he'd really been raped.

He probably had been. He also hoped that he would never know for sure. It was easier to think that maybe he hadn't been violated.

Before Conrart could stand, let alone climb back into bed, there was a soft tap on his bedroom door and Yozak let himself in. The redhead stayed in the doorway, too careful of Conrart's needs to invade the brunette's personal space without permission, but too anxious to stay in the antechamber without at least checking on his friend.

"Are you okay?" Yozak asked. His large body silhouetted in the doorway. The light of the living space behind him cast Yozak's face into shadow, giving the big man an ominous look.

"I'm fine," Conrart said coldly as he moved himself into a more dignified position on the floor. "I just had a nightmare and fell out of bed."

"You… fell out of bed?" Yozak asked. His voice sounded strained, and Conrart cursed the fact that he couldn't see his friend's face in the shadows.

"Yes," he said tersely.

"You didn't piss your sheets, too, did you?" Yozak asked, the laugh in his voice now clear despite his attempts at biting it back.

Conrart snorted as he stood and brushed himself off. "I'm not the one who had _that_ problem, if I remember correctly."

"Whoa, now! No need to get so pissy, Captain! I'm just teasing," Yozak said with a smile as he came fully into the room. He reached forward and grabbed Conrart's upper arm to steady the man as he got to his feet.

The instant Yozak's hand closed around his bicep, Conrart gasped in pain! His head broke free of the stinging water, and rough hands pulled him out of the tub and onto the cold concrete floor. One set of hands tossed him onto his face on the floor as another set lifted his hips. He felt something positioned at his asshole for just a second before it started pushing in and he tore…

Conrart screamed, and couldn't stop screaming. He pulled away from the hands that held him, landing painfully on the floor. He scrambled up to a sitting position, protecting his back end with the ground, as he scrambled backward until he hit something hard and unmoving.

Yozak could only stare as his best friend's eyes turned dark and empty for a second. Then he screamed – screamed! Conrart never screamed! The man barely ever raised his voice, let alone releasing a piercing sound of terror! Yozak reeled back from the force of it, his ears ringing as Conrart scrambled back. The terrified man didn't stop backing away until he hit his nightstand, and even then he appeared frozen in fear.

Yozak went down on his knees, noting how Conrart's terrified eyes followed his movements as his friend cowered on the floor. Yozak started crawling forward, making himself look as small and harmless as a man of his stature could. He moved slowly, displaying every move he made so his friend could see that there was no harm.

"Conrart," Yozak said softly after he'd gone a few tentative steps, "I'm here, Conrart. I'm Yozak, your best friend."

Conrart pushed back into the nightstand he was curled up against and let out a whimper. Yozak stopped in his tracks – he smelled urine.

"Conrart," he said again, gentler this time. "Conrart, come here. I will never hurt you, so you can come over here and be safe. You can do it! Come over here…"

Yozak kept up a constant stream of encouragement. Slowly – ever so painfully slowly – the light came back into Conrart's eyes and the Captain uncurled from his defensive ball. "Yozak?" he asked in a wavering voice.

"Yeah?" Yozak asked hopefully.

Conrart tried to speak, but no sound came out. He swallowed and licked his lips before he tried again. "I… I think I just… r-remembered something," he wavered. "I… could you… leave, please?"

Yozak watched his frightened friend, but held his ground. In a soft voice he said, "I'm not leaving you alone. Would you like me to send for your lady mother so she can stay with you?"

A little too quickly, Conrart nodded his head. "Yeah, please c-call Mother."

Staying on his knees, Yozak backed toward the open door. Once he'd passed through the portal he gracefully rose to his feet and went to the hallway door. He straightened his clothing quickly as he moved, so when he entered the hall he no longer looked like a man who'd been dealing with a scared wild animal on the floor of Conrart's room.

"Send for Lady Cecilia Von Spitzweg," he said to the guard before he returned to Conrart's sitting room. He took a deep breath before he went on hands and knees and crawled to Conrart's bedroom door. He approached the portal, but made certain not to enter without Conrart's express permission.

"Hey, Captain, you okay?" he called.

Conrart was still in the corner that his bed and nightstand made, curled up on the floor. He looked a little calmer – a little less like a deer watching an arrow that was about to kill it – and a little more sensible, but the way he was curled up was still completely defensive and protective of his genitals. "I'm sorry, Yozak," he whispered. Yozak almost didn't catch it.

"There's no need to be sorry," Yozak said as he sat back. Conrart wasn't going to invite him into the room, Yozak could tell, and the redhead didn't want to push his friend's boundaries any more than he already had. "You remembered something horrible. Considering the damage I saw when I found you, it makes sense that you don't want me anywhere near you."

"But… but you've been by my side th-this whole t-time, and I can't stand having you here!" Conrart exclaimed.

"I'm still by your side, Captain," Yozak said with a smile. "Look at yourself: your side is turned toward me. I can still support you without having to touch you." Not that he'd dared to touch his friend at all since their return a few months before. Conrart couldn't stand the contact.

Conrart didn't move or make a sound, so Yozak scooted over to the door's jamb and leaned on it in such a way that Conrart could still see his relaxed profile, but he still wasn't blocking Conrart's way out. They sat like that for several minutes until the outer door banged open and slammed shut as Tornado Cecilia blew into the chamber.

"Oh, my baby!" she said from the bedroom's entrance. "Are you okay?"

Then, the dignified and beautiful ex-queen got on her hands and knees and crawled up to her second son and pulled him back onto her lap so she could hold him close. Conrart turned his head into her chest, but his eyes locked on Yozak, who hadn't moved from his very uncomfortable position just outside the door. Yozak locked gazes with Conrart, his bright blue eyes soft and caring. After a minute or so Yozak blinked and smiled. "I'll be in the other room if you need me," he said as he backed into the other room.

* * *

><p>Conrart sat up in his bed, thinking. It was the middle of the night and the castle was quiet as most of its occupants slept. His mother had left for the night at his insistence hours ago, but now he wished he'd asked her to stay. If she had stayed, he wouldn't be alone with his thoughts.<p>

He'd cried on his mother's shoulder, telling her what he'd remembered as she helped him change into to pajamas. He'd been surprised to discover that in his initial terror he'd wet his pants, but true mortification set in when Yozak crawled into the room and cleaned the puddle up from the floor with some old rags. Then, after a cheeky wink from behind his mother's back, Yozak had crawled out of the room.

Conrart got out of bed and slowly opened his bedroom door, peeking out at the outer room. The light was soft, but the candle left on the end table was enough to show Conrart the back of his couch and the bookcases Yozak had installed along one wall yesterday. The big redhead was nowhere in sight, although he'd said he would be here all night. Curious as to his friend's whereabouts, Conrart stepped into the room, leaving his door open behind him.

As he came around the couch, he stopped dead. Yozak was passed out on the couch, his head scrunched up against one armrest and his knees bent so that he fit awkwardly. With the way his neck was bent, Conrart wondered how sore his friend would be the next morning. The poor redhead held one small square pillow to his chest and seemed to be using the two larger ones as blankets.

Shaking his head, Conrart took a blanket out of the basket tucked under the window behind his needlework kit and spread it over his friend. Yozak looked exhausted, as if he'd spent too many long nights without sleep. Of course, he had. Every time Conrart awoke from a nightmare Yozak was there, awake and ready. Although the big man normally slept lightly and woke up at the sound of a footstep, the man's breathing hadn't hitched once since Conrart had spotted him. The man was out.

That was the only reason Conrart dared to take one of the pillows that had been covering his big friend and tuck it under his head. Yozak's breath didn't change as his head was lifted, and he didn't even move as his head was settled on the cool pillow. Gaining confidence that his friend was too tired to wake, Conrart moved the candle to the coffee table and stretched Yozak's legs so they hung over the couch's second armrest with the other big pillow supporting his knees.

Confident that his friend was finally comfortable, Conrart went back to bed. After a few more hours of painful silence, he managed to fall into a deep, fitful, dreamful sleep.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey everybody. I'm sorry it's been a while since I last posted. Originally I was trying to post a chapter every week, and then work started and I figured I could manage posting once every other week. Now... life got in the way. My beta is having school problems and I'm working too many days per week, so chapters aren't getting done as I had originally planned. I'm not forgetting you guys! Please let me know what you think of my story, though. Feedback is always appreciated!


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

Yozak stepped out of Conrart's chambers with a forced smile plastered on his face. _Sure_ Conrart had been shying away from him lately. _Of course_ the brunette had been avoiding eye contact. It was a _matter of course_ that, considering the memories that were flooding into Conrart's mind, he was too afraid of Yozak to even pretend things were back to normal. That didn't mean that the new behaviors didn't piss Yozak off.

So what was Yozak to do? He did what he always did whenever Conrart was in a funk: he acted friendly and silly like normal. Eventually Conrart would get so pissed off he'd call Yozak on his behavior, and that would – eventually – lead to a civilized conversation about whatever was getting Conrart upset. Well, it would be a somewhat civilized conversation since they were usually covered in mud and bruises by the time they got around to it.

Needless to say, that wasn't going to be happening any time soon. Their days were spent in near silence. Conrart had stopped his sword practices and horseback rides, choosing instead to remain sequestered in his rooms. Sometimes he wouldn't let Yozak in, instead having the maid call his mother to attend him. That had only happened for three days after the first rape memory had stirred to the surface, though. After that, he'd allowed Yozak back into his suite, but only if a woman was present.

Yozak pushed himself away from Conrart's door and started walking. He really didn't want to go back into Conrart's rooms today. He really hadn't wanted to for the past few days. The stress was starting to stick in his throat. The fear-filled looks weren't too bad, considering he'd been on the receiving end of quite a few since he'd brought his friend home from Big Cimeron. It wasn't really about the shying-away, either, or the blatant hesitation before Conrart spoke. It was the fact that, although Conrart admitted he _knew_ he could trust Yozak, he still couldn't stand being around him.

Yozak knocked on Gwendal's office door and opened it at the barked response. "Sir, I'm at my wit's end with your brother," Yozak began without preamble once he'd planted himself in front of the military leader's desk.

"I can't say I'm surprised," Gwendal said in his gruff voice. "You lasted longer than I thought you would."

"Aww, thank you, sir!" Yozak said with a playful bat of his eyelashes. Then he sobered. "I think we need someone who can talk to Conrart about the memories."

"What has he said to you?" Gwendal asked as he clasped his hands tightly in front of him with his elbows propped up on the desk, hiding his mouth.

"He won't talk to me," Yozak said. "He keeps calling for your lady mother, but the times she won't come or Lady Anissina can't act as chaperone he can't stand my presence. I don't know what to do."

Gwendal just glared at Yozak, his eyes focused internally as he thought. "I think it's time for the Sage to be summoned. I'm sure he's got some advice he'd be willing to give us."

* * *

><p>Conrart sat on his couch with his legs crossed in front of him as he sipped a hot cup of tea. The Great Sage, Ken Murata, sat comfortably in Yozak's usual chair across from him, sipping from his cup with a dorky-looking expression of excitement on his face.<p>

"I love this tea," the youth said as he set his cup down on the table between them. "The temple maidens only have simple black tea, but this mixture was the Great One's favorite back in the day. Do you drink it often?"

"Yozak always buys some for me when he goes shopping in the city markets," Conrart said evenly, if not cordially. Considering his stiff posture and closed sitting position, Murata wasn't surprised by the stiff tone. Conrart hadn't wanted Murata in his living room, but Gwendal had insisted on this conversation.

"He's going to need to tell me which vendor sells it so I can get some," Murata said as he haphazardly tried to pick his cup back up off the coffee table. The saucer almost fell, but he managed to catch it before it could land on the carpet. "Oopsie."

Compared to Conrart's stiff and defensive posture, Murata was positively sprawled out across his chair. He was sitting in it, technically, but his black coat was thrown carelessly across the back, his book bag was open with papers sticking out the top on the floor, and now his teacup was set on the floor by the table. His posture was relaxed, his legs were uncrossed, and he was leaning forward as he set his saucer back on the table (leaving the half-full cup on the floor dangerously close to his right foot).

The boy wouldn't sit still, either. It wasn't like Murata couldn't stop moving, but the boy would never truly sit still. By comparison, aside from the small movements required to drink his tea, Conrart sat without any outward movement.

"Anyway, Conrart, how've you been?" Murata asked as he straightened up in his seat. "Is that a new bookshelf on the wall?"

Conrart shot a glance over his shoulder so he could look at the new shelving covering the wall. "Yozak made them," he stated. "He brought two cartloads of books up from the library on the ground floor. He didn't like the pile they made in the corner, so he made me the shelves to put them on."

Murata smiled brightly. "It seems to me he likes you a lot!" At Conrart's glare he said, "What, your best friend can't like you?"

Conrart glanced away guiltily. For a second he'd assumed that Murata was about to suggest the same thing everyone else had lately, and he'd been about to say something cutting to the boy. "I'm sorry if I offended you…" he started, but stopped when Murata chuckled.

"It's not a big deal, my friend. I understand that your mother's probably been putting some pressure on you guys to get married or something, and Yuri told me about his mess up when you got home. Then I heard recently through the grapevine that you and Wolfram hashed out your feelings for Yuri. It seems to me that your 'love life' has been discussed enough for the time being… unless there's something I'm missing."

Conrart felt his mouth tighten into a straight line. "No, I think you've covered everything as it stands," he said.

"Coolio! How many of the books have you read yet?" Murata asked, pointing back at the shelves Yozak had made.

Conrart, however, was staring at the floor and noticed that Murata's cup was still by his feet. He shook himself and said, "I've gotten through about half of the first batch of books, so Yozak's made an appointment with the librarian to choose some more titles."

Murata shifted in his chair and the foot closest to the teacup moved just a little bit closer to the delicate piece of china. "So, I'm guessing he's been reading with you?"

"I suppose," Conrart said noncommittally. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat on the couch. Should he tell Murata about the cup? Could the boy have forgotten that he'd put it there just a moment ago? Was he really that much of a ding-a-ling? Knowing the manipulative kid, he'd probably left it down there for some obscure reason. Well, let him kick it over or not at his own risk.

"So… read anything interesting?" Murata asked. The look on his face was completely open and his eyes were wide with curiosity. He was almost as bad as Yu… King Yuri. Conrart could feel his body relax as he started lowering his defenses a bit.

"I've read a few good books," Conrart said after a sip of tea. "A lot of what the librarian gave him were romance novels, so a lot of the books I've been reading were pretty bad."

"You know, on Earth, romance novels are called 'porn for women'. Do they have the same stigma here these days?" Murata asked as he started looking around the coffee table. Then he peered over one of the arms of his chair. He didn't look down at his feet, Conrart noticed, or else he would have found the cup he was seeking.

"Not really," Conrart said in response to the boy's question. "Men read romance about as much as women here. It's not a genre I normally go out of my way to read, but Yozak's a huge fan of several romance authors, so I've read quite a few over the decades."

"Is that so?" Murata asked. "Well, I suppose I can see Yozak as a romance buff, but I figured you'd also like them."

Conrart gave Murata a crooked little smirk as he brought his cup to his lips, but didn't drink. "I guess I'm more of an action and fantasy kind of guy," he said before he took a sip.

Murata burst out laughing. "I can picture that! I'll bet you get ideas from the action sequences you read!"

"Not really. Usually you can tell who has seen battle and who hasn't. Once I read this scene that was very well thought through and completely impractical, so I wrote a letter to the author to let him know that, although I enjoyed his novel, his character would have died on his own sword."

"Did you get a response?" Murata asked with delighted mirth in his eyes.

However, the question caused Conrart to sober and stiffen back up. "He sent a letter back saying that I was nothing but an uneducated half-breed and couldn't possibly understand the subtle complexities of writing a fight scene."

"To which you responded…?" Murata prompted.

"I didn't," Conrart said with a note of finality in his voice.

It was a note that Murata completely ignored. "You know, I really don't believe you. You left your original message unsigned, didn't you? I'll bet you said something that pissed him off so much he shut up. And then you signed your response with your full name and title. You're tough like that."

"Really?" Conrart asked with a sneer. "You think I'm tough."

Murata sobered and the light reflecting off his glasses hid his eyes. "You know, it's not a mark of weakness for me to think you're tough. I'm not weak, but you are definitely tough."

Conrart just stared at the Great Sage, his face kept carefully blank. "It's funny, Sage, but right now I don't feel so _tough_."

"What _do_ you feel?" Murata asked evenly, with just a touch of challenge in his voice.

It was that touch of challenge that prompted Conrart to speak. "I feel… fragile." He hesitated. "I feel defenseless."

It had almost hurt for him to speak those words that had somehow managed to tear him apart. Saying them had been hard, but as he said them he felt something inside him change – as if something lying shattered on the floor of his soul shifted, as if it were moving into position so that someone could glue it back together.

And that feeling scared him.

What had he just done? Murata was a brilliant boy with generations of experiences, but he was still just a kid! He even admitted that those past lives that he could remember were somewhat choppy and disjointed, as if they'd happened to someone else (which Conrart supposed they had). What if he mishandled Conrart's secrets the same way he'd mishandled his teacup?

Conrart took a deep breath. He had to remember that he was dealing with the Great Sage, and not just a human child. He may not remember every detail of his past lives, but the fact he could remember so much at all was beneficial experience nonetheless. Not to mention the kid was clever enough to lead half the kingdom around by the nose when he needed to in order to have such exceptionally good results.

But would he tell any of this to Yuri?

No, Conrart finally decided, Murata wouldn't tell any of this to Yuri. The look the double black had on his face as he watched him was serious and thoughtful. The light had shifted off of the Sage's glasses, and the look in them was… kind.

"I guess I needed to get that off my chest," Conrart said a little awkwardly.

Murata smiled. "It seems to me that you have a lot of things you need to get off your chest."

"I suppose I do," Conrart admitted. "I just…"

"Time will allow you to grow your voice," Murata said gently when it became clear the words Conrart wanted to say wouldn't push past his tongue. "I'd like to keep talking to you, if you don't mind the intrusion."

Conrart took a deep breath and forced his shoulders to relax. "I don't mind." There was just one thing he had to check on to make sure Murata would be okay with these talks. "I'm just a half-breed, though."

"You know, I'm technically a half-breed, too. So are Yuri and Nicola's baby. And Yozak. These days, I really don't think it matters what you are so much who you are as who you want to be."

A few more shattered pieces came together inside Conrart's heart. He wasn't anywhere close to being healed – so far from it, in fact, that he was terrified of being damaged like this forever – but just enough to feel that one day, he could be… He could _be_.

"Murata," he said.

"Yes, Conrart?"

"Your teacup is by your feet."

Murata looked down at the ground before him and picked up his now cold tea. "Thanks, Conrart! I was looking for it earlier."

With a snicker Conrart filled his empty teacup and offered some more to his shiny new therapist.


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10_

Gwendal Von Voltaire looked up as his door was opened quietly and the Demon King walked into his office. It wasn't so much that the cute little king wandered, but more like he meandered into the room. He walked by the shelves on either side of the room at turns, looking at the books or items kept on them briefly before moving on. Eventually the boy made it to Gwendal's desk and hesitantly took a seat.

"Well, what do you want?" Gwendal asked in his gruffest voice.

"I want to know what we can do to Big Cimeron to punish them for kidnapping Conrad," Yuri said. His eyes looked at Gwendal beseechingly, hoping that the big man would have something to give him.

"Do you want to declare war?" Gwendal demanded.

Yuri's eyes widened in horror as he declared, "Of course I don't!"

"Then there's nothing we can do," Gwendal said as he picked a document up off his desk.

"Why not?" Yuri demanded, rising to his feet in irritation. "That's what I don't get: you keep saying that the only response is war, but that can't be possible! Isn't there a peaceful way to bring justice for your brother without fighting with them?"

Gwendal watched as the boy started pacing. Conrart's refusal to see the young king had really been hurting Yuri and everyone in the castle could see it. Yuri could finally understand why Conrart needed him to keep some distance, but it hadn't allowed the boy to deal with any of his own emotional issues. The king couldn't offer comfort like he normally would, so he wanted to dole out some justice.

"Your Highness, sit down," Gwendal ordered with a sigh as he set his papers back on the pile. He wouldn't be getting any more work done for the next few minutes at least, so he wasn't even going to bother trying.

Yuri threw himself into one of the chairs before Gwendal's desk with a stuffed cow (that looked like an off-kilter pig) he'd snagged off a shelf. Gwendal pinched the bridge of his nose as he started speaking, trying to stave off the headache he felt brewing behind his eyes.

"The problem is that we sent Yozak in to retrieve Conrart," Gwendal stated bluntly. "They sent a spy in to kidnap Conrart, and we sent a spy in to retrieve him. Everything was done quietly – unofficially. Nothing was ever announced or declared, and we are never going to admit that we have an espionage unit. Since nobody outside of the top people both here and in Big Cimeron knows that Conrart was ever kidnapped let alone tortured or retrieved, we don't have a legal leg to stand on in terms of retribution."

"But why, Gwendal? Why don't we have a leg to stand on? Can't we just raise tariffs or something?" Yuri asked, the pain in his eyes shooting daggers into Gwendal's heart.

Oh, but Gwendal wanted to clear that horrible expression off his adorable king's face! Unfortunately, he had a cold, hard truth to give. "We could raise the tariffs," he admitted, "but then they could raise their tariffs, or ban us from trade altogether. Their response would be greater than ours and would require greater retribution from us. Once we've responded, then they will have to respond in turn. Eventually the tensions will rise too high, and one of us will declare war on the other. It is the nature of our relationship with Big Cimeron."

Yuri sank back in his chair and looked over at Gwendal's shelf of stuffed animals. Was this really such an impossible situation? Did all roads have to lead to war? How come, in all the time he'd been king, had Big Cimeron never shown any sign of change? All the other human countries had! "Anything we can do will end up in the same situation, won't it?" he asked.

"Yes." No point in Gwendal softening the blow. The king would recover quickly.

"But can't we do something that will bring justice for Conrart?" Yuri asked, his eyes pleading. "In a normal rape case we would be able to bring his attacker to trial, and I've heard that testifying in court is a very rewarding experience for a victim despite the difficulty of telling everyone about such a painful and embarrassing event. Can't we do anything like that to give Conrart some closure?"

Gwendal was silent for several long minutes, his eyes locked on Yuri. "I'll have to give this some thought," he mumbled eventually. "We may have to do some unethical and illegal things to bring this about."

"You can't do that!" Yuri said. He stood up from his seat and started pacing again. This time, however, he started in on a lecture of his own. "We would only become the enemy that hurt us! Breaking laws and doing illegal things is bad, no matter how honorable your intentions. Kidnapping is kidnapping, no matter if you are taking the godfather of a king to hold for ransom or a lowly thief to flush out a drug lord. If we become our enemies, then good and honorable people will…"

"Your Highness! Is this where you've been?" came a sing-song male voice just before Gwendal's door flew open to reveal a silver-haired beauty. "I am happy to see you finally showing a true fervor for your work, Majesty, but right now is the time for your history lesson! Highness, come with me!" With that Gunter pulled the young king out of the room, leaving the door swinging in his wake.

"That was conveniently timed," came a voice from just outside the doorway.

Gwendal heaved an irritated sigh and picked up the paper he'd been looking over before. "You may as well come in, Yozak, and close the door behind you."

He heard the door close, but Gwendal couldn't hear the younger man's footfalls as Yozak approached the desk and languidly rested himself in the chair Yuri had just vacated. "I heard what you were telling the kiddo," he said. "Do you have a plan?"

"I have an idea," Gwendal admitted without looking at the redhead. "Our king would need to agree since he is an important player in the game, but I doubt he will. He still has that childish view of the world."

"I guess that's why he's becoming an effective leader," Yozak said evenly. "Do we really have to ask his permission to put a covert plan into operation? Don't tell me that in the four months since I brought Conrart back you haven't had any other spies over to Big Cimeron collecting information!"

"You know I have!" Gwendal snapped, his dark eyes suddenly slicing into Yozak's. "Information is slow to trickle in from such a great distance, as you well know, and I don't feel confident taking you away from my brother long enough to send you on the mission yet."

"Plus, you don't have every detail of the mission planned out yet, do you, Sir?" Yozak asked. His eyes held a cunning that was normally held at bay by his flamboyant personality. The fact that the spy wasn't keeping his true feelings guarded was as much a testament to his exhaustion as the dark circles under his eyes.

"Not yet," Gwendal admitted as he set down his paper again and folded his hands in front of his mouth. "What I have so far is a two-pronged attack, but in order to do it we need King Belar here."

"But he won't come to us until he feels safe," Yozak finished for his commander. "We need time to pass, and then we'll need a reason for him to trek all the way over here."

"And, for the other attack, I need you to be able to leave Conrart's side for over a month," Gwendal supplied. "However, with the state he's in right now…"

"I don't feel comfortable leaving him in his room by himself, either," Yozak admitted, the sharp look finally leaving his eyes only to be replaced with a look of exhaustion. "He's talking to His Excellency right now."

"I'm surprised you aren't hovering by the door," Gwendal teased.

Yozak let out a tired chuckle. "Aw, but Sir, I've been missing our little chitchats so much, I couldn't stay away!"

Gwendal let out a gruff little laugh and let his hands drop down to his desk to rest comfortably. "I can imagine how hard this is for you."

"Yeah, I guess," Yozak said as he ran a hand through his hair. "But I suppose the big question is: how are you holding up? Most of the fallout from this shit is landing on your shoulders, after all."

"I'm fine," Gwendal said as he buried his nose back into his king's paperwork.

Yozak looked over at the shelf that was positively overflowing with handmade stuffed animals. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Gwendal repeated irritably.

"You don't look fine," Yozak teased in his sing-song voice.

"I am."

"You are… what?" Yozak said. The grin that was starting to spread had a distinctly malicious glint to it.

"I'm fine," Gwendal said again, resolutely glaring daggers at the form in his hand.

"You look a little grouchy," Yozak insisted as he leaned forward in his seat.

"I'm always grouchy," Gwendal replied between tight lips. "You've said as much yourself several times."

"So I have," Yozak relented, relaxing back into his seat. The glint in his eyes only brightened, though, despite his newly relaxed posture. "I've also told you that you're a hot commodity among the servants – they all agree that you are _fine_ – but I happen to know that if I can't hide how upset I am from anyone, then you're locking up twice as much anger as I am behind that cool, unflappable façade of yours. What's your outlet?"

"What?" Gwendal asked, his eyes suddenly boring into Yozak's with a silent warning.

It was a warning that Yozak ignored. The glint of mischief was still in his eyes. "Well, my room's completely torn up and almost all of my furniture is broken. How does yours look?"

Gwendal sighed and tossed the paper back on the pile. Again. "Can't I get any work done today?" he demanded with irritation.

Yozak leaned forward in his seat. "You and Gunter are a couple, aren't you?"

"If I said 'yes' would you leave me alone?" Gwendal demanded, refusing to lean forward to match Yozak. The glint left Yozak's eye, so Gwendal said, "If you need to, I can ask His Excellency to talk to you after he's finished with my brother."

"Actually, I was hoping to piss you off enough to get you to attack me. I could do with a good grappling match right about now," Yozak admitted. "I think I'll just gather Conrart's men together and start them on sword drills instead." He'd been taking over their morning drills as of late. Conrart was still their leader both officially and in the men's hearts, but Yozak was the acceptable substitute while his captain was on "personal" leave. Frankly, he could only break the furniture in his room so much before it was beyond repair, so the hostile workout was a reasonable outlet for his anger.

Damn that Murata! He'd suggested it oh so subtly the morning after their little chat that Yozak had just gone out and rounded up Conrart's men without even thinking about it! The little Excellency was just too good for his own good.

"You are dismissed," Gwendal said as he finally managed to get down to work.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: Hello everybody! I would like to apologize in advance for some of the bad language that's going to be in this chapter, but I figured that I rated this as Mature for a reason (as if the dark and depressing subject wasn't already reason enough). Thank you for enduring this far with me, and please let me know your thoughts on this chapter and the story thus far. Criticisms and critiques are greatly appreciated!

_Chapter 11_

Yozak was leaning against the wall in the hallway as Murata walked out of Conrart's suite. "Hey, Imminence, how's he doing?" he asked in a soft voice only Murata could hear.

Murata turned and looked at Yozak as he shut the door to Conrart's room. "He says the two of you are talking," he said.

"Yeah, we talk about books and his family," Yozak said, the irritation clear in his voice. "On a good day, he'll ask me about his men and what I've been doing with them since I took over his post a few months ago. But he's still sidestepping any questions I ask about how he's doing!" And he had been sidestepping such questions since the chat sessions with Murata had started three months before. Conrart had been home for seven months already, and Yozak felt that absolutely no ground had been gained. In fact, since that really bad nightmare episode, it was almost as if Conrart had just come full circle to where he had been before his major freak out.

Murata cocked his head to the side, causing the light from the window to reflect off his glasses and effectively hide his eyes. "You took up Conrart's post?"

Yozak paused. "I thought Conrart told you. I'm his temporary replacement while he's on sabbatical."

"He did mention something briefly a while ago," Murata said as he shifted so Yozak could see his large, innocent eyes. "I just forgot."

"I'll bet," Yozak mumbled to himself under his breath. To Murata he said, "So how's he doing?"

"He's taking small steps," Murata said, "but I think being able to talk to someone seems to be helping."

_What does he mean by someone?_ Yozak thought. Who had always been there for Conrart? Who had always been by his side? Who had endured months of fucking _silence_ after months of fucking blatant _fear_ in the hopes of getting his friend through a fucking _trauma_?

Anticipating Yozak's thoughts Murata added, "I mean that being able to talk to someone who isn't emotionally invested in his welfare seems to be helping. You're his best friend, but he knows that anything he says to you will get back to his older brother, and he doesn't want the two of you getting hurt on his behalf."

"Doesn't he know that by watching him suffer we're already hurt?" Yozak snapped.

There was an odd thud on the door of Conrart's room followed by the sound of something sliding down the wood to the floor. Without thinking, Yozak tore open the door and started to run into the room only to stop when he saw Conrart huddled on the floor in the doorway, his body shaking violently as he wrapped his arms around his middle. It was almost as if he was using his arms to hold himself together.

Yozak reached down and gently touched Conrart's shoulder only to feel Conrart jerk away from the contact. "I'm sorry you heard that," Yozak said as he stood up straight. "I didn't want…"

"I was raped!" Conrart shouted, interrupting Yozak's apology. "I was tortured and raped!"

Yozak froze with his hand suspended in the air between himself and Conrart. It took him three tries but he finally managed to choke out a response in a rough voice: "I know."

"I know you know!" Conrart screamed from his place huddled on the floor in the doorway. "You're the one who got me, so of course you know! Even worse, you SAW!"

"Of course I saw," Yozak said in a soft voice. "I had to go in to get you. You'd been strung up by your hands and left to dangle. The cuts on your body had scabbed over and the blood leaking from your butt had dried."

"And then you stuffed me in a uniform, pretended to a guard that I'd passed out drunk, and got me to a human doctor. It's all because of you that I'm here."

Technically true, Yozak supposed. Still… "You know I was acting on your brother's orders, right? I wanted the Op, but I couldn't leave without the order."

"That's not what Gwendal said this morning," Conrart said. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked Yozak directly in the eye.

"He spoke to you?" Yozak asked. He felt his face turn pale at the implications and felt a wave of cold shoot up his spine at the thought of what the two brothers had probably discussed.

Fortunately, Conrart didn't seem to notice. If anything, the brunette seemed to lighten up for the first time in months. He said, "You know, he does speak despite being a man of few words. I guess he'd been saving this speech for a time when I'd managed to piss him off enough that his knitting couldn't straighten out his feelings."

"I meant: what did he say?" Yozak clarified.

"He said I was being a stereotypical half-breed for shutting you out like I was," Conrart said seriously. Then he dropped his gaze to his knees as he almost whispered, "He said that you left on the reconnaissance mission before he had a chance to issue your orders, and you didn't physically receive them until you'd already been in Big Cimeron for a week."

That fucking son of a whore! He'd gone and told Conrart _that?I _ Of all the things he could have said, some of which were just as embarrassing as his rushing off to be a hero, Gwendal the Mighty Big Brother went and told Conrart _that?_ Seriously, wouldn't he have said…?

"He also told me that you've been a wreck since we got back and you've destroyed all the furniture in your room," Conrart said sheepishly.

So he had said. Leave it to Gwendal to barge in and just tell Conrart exactly the things Yozak didn't want the brunette to know.

"I guess he saw the requisition form this morning and decided that I needed a talking to," Conrart finished lamely without looking back up at Yozak.

For his part, Yozak let out a heavy sigh and took a seat on the floor. "Bitch didn't lie," he said, this time being the one to look anywhere except at Conrart. "I've been a bit of a mess lately. I've been worried about my best friend. You see, he was raped and tortured, so for the first time ever he couldn't handle me being angry. I showed him the face I wanted him to see so that he could trust me and maybe heal just a tiny bit, but I guess he saw the anger I was hiding and was hurting from it."

"He didn't see the anger," Conrart countered in a soft voice. Yozak's eyes shot a look over at his best friend. Sometime during his speech Conrart had sat up fully and even leaned forward, leaning on a hand resting in the few inches between his and Yozak's knees. "I saw how you love me, though, and how much you miss me. It just… hurts… the way you look at me – the way you respect me. I feel like… like I need to be better, or maybe get better. If I hadn't let my guard down that night – if only I'd locked the window – then I couldn't have been taken. I wouldn't have been captured. I wouldn't have been _raped_. I would still be worthy of being your best friend."

"Why wouldn't you be worthy of being my best friend?" Yozak demanded in a firmer voice than he'd intended. His tone made Conrart flinch, so when he continued speaking he gentled his voice a little. "Seriously, Captain, you're always going to be my friend because you're just an awesome man to know. That's how it's always been and that's how it's always going to be. I know you're not up for it now, but I do intend to piss off Wolfram as soon as you're feeling better and blaming it on you just like I've always done."

Conrart didn't chuckle or even let out a pity laugh like Yozak had expected. Instead, he looked thoughtful. "Did you say 'butt' earlier?"

"Huh?" Yozak asked with confusion.

"Earlier, didn't you say when you found me I had been bleeding from my butt?" Conrart clarified.

Yozak thought back to the earlier part of their conversation. "I guess I did."

Conrart let out a little snort before he stuffed his hand in his mouth to stifle it. "You said 'butt.'"

"Yeah, so…?" Yozak asked. "I've said 'butt' before."

Conrart was giggling so hard his face was turning pink and he was gasping for air. "You… you said… you sounded… sooooooooo... silly! You said…"

Yozak just stared as his best friend dissolved into peals of unrestrained laughter. He felt the corner of his mouth quirk up and a chuckled escaped. Then, as Conrart's laughter intensified and the prince laid on the floor cracking up and holding his sides, he gave up the fight and started outright laughing himself. It wasn't until later he realized that Murata hadn't left the hallway once during their conversation. In fact, it was His Eminence who eventually scooped them off the floor and gave them some tea to calm down.

Who knew that the great Double Black had such a nurturing side?

A/N: Thank you all for reading and bearing with my sporadic updates. Please rate and review, and have a lovely Singles Awareness Day, AKA St. Valentine's Day!


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